Here We Go Again || Sequel to Daddy

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This chapter is dedicated to dawn_loves_gerard because you're so cute and sweet and I hope we become good friends c: And thank you so much for the cute messages <3

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I lay in my bed, staring up at the ceiling as hundreds of thoughts ran through my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about Patrick. Something about him was like a drug, I just wanted more and more of him, even if I knew it would hurt everyone around me.

Especially myself.

I know I should just cut off our relationship, but I don't want to. He knows how to make me happy after a rough day, he knows exactly what I like in bed, and he's just always there for me when I need him. But in a non-clingy way.

But if I continue seeing him then everything will go to shit. Mikey will be heartbroken if he ever finds out, which means he won't talk to me. And that means Gerard won't ever talk to me because he's Mikey's brother.

And what will Joe and Brendon think of me? They understand that I loved Patrick, but what will they think about me cheating on my fiancé with the man I had an affair with all those years ago.

I ran my hand through my fringe that was pressed against my forehead before letting out a loud sigh, causing Mikey to stir from where he lay on my bare chest. I watched as he pulled me closer, nuzzling his face into my chest before his breathing evened out again.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered, running my fingers down his pale arm. He didn't reply, which didn't come as a surprise to me. I dropped my hand onto the mattress and looked back up at the ceiling.

Even though I had memories with Patrick I still had more with Mikey. Before I asked him to marry me he was one of my closest friends. He joined our group and we all just clicked. It was like Mikey has grown up with Joe, Brendon and I.

I realized I liked him about seven years ago, three years after I moved back. The four of us had gone on a road trip to California (driving for days with three other men in a mini van is hell).

The first thing we did was stop at a beach, and after a few hours there, when the sun was setting and Joe and Brendon were still acting like whales in the water Mikey and I went for a walk down by the waters edge.

At first we had just talked about what we wanted to do there, but then things got deeper and we started talking about our past relationships. That's when I spilled everything about Patrick and our past, and Mikey listened the entire time.

He didn't judge me for it like everyone else had. He just took my hand and gave it a small squeeze before saying something that I still think about seven years later.

"You loved him, he loved you. That won't ever stop, even if you want it to. There will always be a part of each of you that will still love the other, even if it's the smallest piece. All you can do now is try to forget about them until they come back."

"Come back?"

"From what you just told me I can tell you both loved each other so much you were willing to die for the other, and a love that strong can't be broken. Which means he'll come back. But until then you need to keep yourself busy, you can't keep waiting for the day he does."

"But what am I supposed to do? Who knows how long this could take, considering it'll actually by some miracle happen."

"Figure that out on your own."

As I thought about Mikey's words over again I couldn't help but smile. That was the day I started to fall in love with him. But it was also the day I realized I'd never stop loving Patrick.