Moving On (BoyxBoy) UNEDITED

Chapter eight

So this goes out to clevercookies94 becuase they were the first of my three new fans. this is the only chapter in this whole story told by a girls pov and i hpope you guys like it. Vote and comment, or something. I need feedback I'm not sure how good this is. but there might e a naughty scene coming up soon, if it's okay with you all :D

Zina

Melody’s POV



It’s been months since I’ve seen Zander. He hasn’t called texted, email or written to me. I have no idea what happened to him. I mean it’s like he just dropped off of the earth. I have no idea where he could be and I don’t know where to go to find out. I mean everyone around here is just acting like he doesn’t exist. His parents won’t talk to anyone about him and no one else I know was really good friends with him.

So I have no source of information to find out what’s happened to him. I don’t even know if we are still together or not. I mean he said that he loved me but if you love someone you don’t randomly run away from them and not even give them a clue. Even if you are having a hard time.

You should go to the person you love and talk to them about it or something. Not run away. What good does that do for you? None, zip, zero.  I mean I’ve tried to be faithful but what am I being faithful to? At the moment nothing.

He’s gone and I don’t even know where to. He hasn’t contacted me in month and he didn’t tell me he was leaving. So really I’m almost trying to be faithful to a non-existent relationship.

I mean really it’s a nonentity.  It’s just a great big joke really. I don’t think that he really ever loved me. I think he loves the idea of loving someone, since he lost the two people he loved the most.

One to death and the other to the one who died. But if the love he had for either of them was true they would still be together wouldn’t they? Or maybe he’s just confused about what he’s feeling. I know I would be. I mean I’m confused on how I feel right now. I love him or at least I thought I did.

But I can’t live without pleasure so I’ve cheated. But doesn’t that mean I don’t really love him? Maybe I’m just in love with the idea of being in love. I mean I wouldn’t doubt it. Being young isn’t a time to love seriously. It’s a time to learn and grow.

 You have to learn what you like and what you’re looking for and you have to grow into who you truly are. You have to become comfortable with yourself before you can truly love anyone. Or at least that’s what I’ve heard. But it could be different for everyone. I’m not sure. I mean I am comfortable with myself and I’m looking for a guy like Zander. But there was just something missing. I think it was passion.

Not that he isn’t a passionate person but it’s just that he didn’t feel a passionate love for me. He felt some type of lesser love. But I’m looking and hoping to find a passionate love. Not just in sexual things but in life and love as well. But it’s something that Zander just wasn’t able to feel with me and I don’t think that he ever will be able to.

I don’t think I’ll ever have a passionate love for him either. I believe we would make better friends than anything else. I mean don’t get me wrong I would hate to not have him in my life but he doesn’t need to be a big part.

Actually it would probably be really awkward for him to be something really important in my life. So I guess that answered my question. I don’t love him really. But I do love him as a friend. He doesn’t love me either, so I don’t think that we are in a relationship.

But either way I’m going to email him and officially end things so I don’t feel so bad. Then I’m going to move on with my life. Find someone new and see if things work out from there.

Or maybe there person I’m looking for is right under my nose and I just really have to open up my eyes. Either way I know that somehow at sometime I will find love. But I should have known not to go after him. I knew that he was going for Zoey. I knew that she was in the hospitable when we first got together.

 I knew he wasn’t thinking. He was in pain because Zoey was dying and he needed something to forget about it. I was just booty call. He didn’t plan on me being anything else. But somehow I did become something else to him for awhile. I’m not sure what but whatever it was had to have been wrong. He was too nice of a guy just to throw me out after he was done.

That and somehow in some way I think I became I replacement for Zoey. Obviously not a very good one but nevertheless. I should have known that this would have ended up bad. That I would be somewhat hurt. Imagine if I really had loved him, the pain I would be in right now would be unbearable.

 I mean he’s not a bad guy but he isn’t perfect. He was in pain and needed some type of release. Something to make him forget. He knew I wanted him; I had put myself in this position. I had agreed even though I knew what I was getting into.

So I can’t complain and I really have no right to. I mean it wasn’t like I thought we would magically work out and be together forever. We just jumped into a relationship with each other that neither of us where ready for. We didn’t think about things we just let our bodies take control.

I think in the back of our minds we always knew that but neither of us wanted to admit it. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore then he already was and he didn’t want to hurt me. So instead we kept the charade up. But in the end it wasn’t really worth it. We wasted time that we will never get back, but we’ve learned from this.

We don’t live forever and we don’t get second chances at everything in life. You have to live in the minute because it’s each little moment that counts in the end. Each moment that makes up your life has some importance in your outcome. You just have to take them as they come and not be down for too long.

 The longer you’re upset the more of your life you’ve wasted on something that probably won’t matter in the end. You’ll just be wasting time and in the end you’ll regret it.

 You just have to let life play out its course and you’ll live the life you wanted to. Never let emotions get in your way; they only hold you back in times you need to continue on. Your life’s not going to wait around for you; you have to go for every opportunity as it arises because they won’t always be there.

 Life is about the little things that happen in small moments. They build up and make your journey worth it and I don’t plan on wasting a minute unless I absolutely have to.