To Whom My Heart Belongs To [original]

Twenty

To someone I loved,

Love is a strong word. It brings many definitions with it. Someone could say they love something, but it wouldn't be the same as saying they love someone. Loving to read isn't the same as loving your family. Finding love can be difficult at times though. Emotions can create conflict on whether or not you ever loved something or someone. That's what is happening to me at the moment. I can't decide whether or not I truly love you. Did I ever really love you?

Maybe it wasn't love after all. It could've been an infatuation. However, an infatuation is falling for someone's appearance. I didn't fall in love with your looks as I've told you before in my letters. So if I fell for your personality, what's that called? While it might not have been your entire personality that I fell for, I did fall for the part that you have shown me. But saying I didn't fall for your looks would be a lie, because I did, only not as much as your personality swept me up in a whirlwind.

I don't know how many times I've said this, but before telling you, I could never imagine us together. All my crushes have stayed a secret and then those feeling diminished over time. You're different. Out of all the people in the world, you are the first crush I've ever told about my feelings towards you. Maybe I thought my feelings were going to stay the same or grow even stronger for you after you knew. It's in strange how one piece of information, no matter how unimportant it may seem, can change the way you view something or someone. That would be one way to describe how I felt towards you at one point.

So again, love is a strong word. My life is will continue on whether or not you will be in it. I still have room to improve and experience more of what the world has to offer. As much as I want, you may not be a part of that future. My strong emotions towards you have led me to believe something more could come out of our growing relationship. It started as an interest. It then grew into a crush. Then I believed I could possibly have been shot with Cupid's arrow. You've shown me a world of emotions I thought I wouldn't feel for another few years but what exactly is love? I'm not sure I have the words to explain what it is even after all you've brought into my life.

With love,

someone who can't define love