Ten

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To someone I loved,

There are so many feelings I have bottled up. Not all of them are towards you though. I have many towards plenty of people. Some have brought me an overload of happiness and joy. Meanwhile, others have caused me to hold in the emotions of anger and sadness. Then there are the different ones who cause both those emotions all at once.

Let me tell you about someone I knew in the past. This person was an individual who strolled into my life but then walked right out in a matter of time. I still remember the first time I saw them. They were wearing a smiling and had sparkles reflecting off their teeth. It all happened so fast. I fell into a trance, and I couldn't pick myself up to escape. Like Alice, I fell down the rabbit hole and continued to fall. Amazed by all the unique objects that flashed before my eyes, for a moment, I had forgotten that I was dropping into the depths of the unknown.

There was most definitely a cushion at the end of the hole to soften the drop. At that time, I was unaware of the excitement that lie ahead and the dangers that awaited for my arrival as well. It was an adventure that I was on; it was a journey for the travels and experience, but it would be one where my emotions would be tossed in a jar and shaken to its breaking point. Everything was perfect during the start of our little adventure. That was until the other side decided it was time to mix things up a bit and create unnecessary tension between us. If that was the goal, then it was achieved.

We continued our escapade together, however, I led one on my own. My side adventure involved me riding the daring roller coaster of emotions that they threw me on. There were many ups and downs, twists and turns, but it didn't stop them from adding more tension to the conflict. That's how I came to have these emotions bottled up. Fear rose up, and I was paralyzed, unable to speak for myself. I held the feeling back, despite their coaxing persuading me to tell them my worries. I couldn't say anything to them as everything I had with them would've been lost. So that's how my emotions got shoved in a bottle.

Now there's a crack in the bottle. With so many events occurring at the moments, it's difficult to recall exactly what caused the breach. This was one part of my life I do not want to relive again but do not want to erase from my past. Learn from their mistakes. If you see me holding back, I might tell you. If you see me exhausted from the ride, I might pick myself up one I see you noticing. But if you see me hiding the pain and tears, comfort me and I will open my doors for you.

With love,

someone who went on a twisted adventure

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