All About Us // Alex Gaskarth

What I need.

"The Glass Case! You're on!" I heard Flyzik yell. I saw Joan and Lex run on stage while I stood side stage with Jessica and Jack. 

"Hello Ventura! We're glad to be back touring! I'm Lex Miller and this is Joan Ashley and we're the Glass Case! By the way, I wanted to thank you all for supporting us. Just thank you for staying with us no matter what." They began playing and I stared out at Lex. It felt like the first night I had ever laid eyes on her. Every single aspect of her was absolutely astonishing. The way she couldn’t help but smile when she sang in front of people made me grin. The lyrics she sang made my body go numb. "Thank you!" They ran off stage and she was walking towards me to give me a hug like she always did. Before she could, Jessica stood in front of me and had her arms wrapped around my waist and looked up at me. "Good luck babe." She kissed my cheek and I saw Lex give a half smile towards me. I got loose of Jessica's grip and caught Lex by the hand. She spun around and I hugged her. "You didn't think I would stop hugging you after you performed just because of Jessica did you?" She laughed and hugged me back. "Go kill it out there." She kissed my head as usual and I ran out onto the stage.

"What's up Ventura? Give a hand for Joan Ashley and my best friend Lex Miller!" Everyone cheered and started chanting 'All Time Low!' "Let's get this shit started!" We started playing Damn If I do Ya and the crowd went insane. Throughout our set, I kept looking at Lex singing every word of ours songs. After playing For Baltimore, it was time for Remembering Sunday, which meant Jessica was going to sing. Up to Jessica’s part, I was extremely nervous. To find my whoever, where ever she may be.... What I heard wasn’t Jessica's voice but Lex’s. I turned and saw her walking out. The crowd went completely nuts and sang along. "Give it up for Lex Miller guys!" The crowd started clapping and cheering as she strolled off stage. I turned and saw Jessica talking to Lex, and Lex had hurt in her eyes. What was she telling her? I was caught off guard by the sound of Jack yelling at me to start singing.

For Dear Maria, everyone was on stage and dancing around. In midst of the song, Jessica ran up to me and kissed me. I looked around and everyone was surprised. I sang the rest of the song and dragged Jessica off stage. “You can’t be doing that Jessica.”---“Why not? We are dating aren’t we?”---“Yeah, but-“ ---“But what Alex?” I looked down at the ground and shot my head towards the stage when I heard Lex speak. “Hey guys, I didn’t get to do this earlier, but I wanna play you guys a song I wrote when I was in the hospital. Yes, I was in the hospital but I’m somewhat okay now.” I stood by Flyzik, and we were both wondering what was going on. Zack came out with a guitar and they brought out a piano for Lex to play. She plays piano too? Shit.

Harness your heart and be still now Quiet that mind that will wander All sorts of dark alley Tragedy strikes your self esteem Constantly waiting for an ending To all of this She opens her eyes Suddenly she cries Can we help her? Can we help her? And she replied You know I fake it oh so well That God himself can't tell What I mean and why my words are less then parallel With my feet you ask me what I need And all I really need is to breathe. People they seem so interested only if you get invested with all the aches and pains. Doctor oh doctor please help her. I fear she may not be breathing. Blue lips and dull eyes that's her disguise. You know I fake it oh so well. That God himself can't tell what I mean and why my words are less then parallel. With my feet, you ask me what I need. And all I really need is to breathe. Give some space to breathe. I need a little room to breathe Give me some space to breathe All I need is a little room to breathe I fake it oh so well That God can't tell You know I fake it oh so well That God himself can't tell What I mean and why my words are less then parallel With my feet you ask me what I need And all I really need Is to breathe... Let me breathe 

I saw a tear running down her cheek and as I looked out to the crowd, I saw they were crying as well. Her voice broke, “Thank you guys.” Zack put her arm around her and walked off stage, with Lex sobbing. “Flyzik, what just happened?” He shrugged and followed them. “Babe, Let’s go out.” I heard Jessica say. “Lex is crying though Jessica. I need to go to her.”---“She has Zack, she’ll be fine.” I turned around and walked towards Joan, “Is she going to be okay?”---“Yeah. Go out with Jessica to shut her up. She’s been annoying all night.” I nodded but inside, I just wanted to be with Lex.

I took Jessica around the city, and we ate, talked and all that fun stuff. “Ugh, it’s all cold now. Let’s go back,” She whined. We sped walk back to the ATL bus and everyone was sitting around with sad looks on their faces. “What happened?”

Joan had tears in her eyes and she sat me down. “What the hell happened!”---“Lex… left.” I stood up and yelled, “What the fuck why! Why didn’t you guys call me!”---“She didn’t want us to. She left you something in her bunk for you.” I sprinted to her bunk and found her blue hoodie. I picked it up and out fell an envelope. It had my name written in cursive and I slowly opened the letter.

Alex, I know you’re probably freaking out because I left, but I had to. After Jessica had told me you guys were engaged, I lost it. My feelings for you became so strong that I can’t believe it myself. The last thing I wanted to be was a little pet, following you and Jessica around. Since this is the last thing I’m leaving, I wanted you to know that, you were everything to me. You were my big brother, my best friend, and my first love all mixed into one. . Yes, you read it right. It won’t change anything but since the first day, I had the weirdest feelings and they grew stronger and stronger over time. No matter where I am, you’ll have my love, no matter what. Stay strong love. –Lex

I ran to the front of the bus and to Jessica with fury running through me. "You told Lex me and you were getting married?!" Her eyes popped out of her head and she was speechless. "Why would you even do that?! Because of you, she's gone! The girl I love it gone!"---"Alex! She was trying to take you away from me! I had to say something to get her away from you! I didn't think she'd leave!" Everyone stood up and Cassadee walked up to Jessica, “Leave now!” Jessica grabbed her things and ran off the bus to who knows where. I lay on the couch, sobbing and speechless. I needed her here. Cassadee put my head on her lap and tried calming me even though she had tears in her eyes herself.

LEXS POV '

It hurt leaving Alexander. But, I couldn't stand to see Jessica and him, engaged, and happy. It was selfish, but I honestly didn’t want him dealing with me in the hospital again. I walked up to the ticket booth in the train station, "One to New York please." I asked the salesman. "One way or round trip." I hesitated at the question. Did I want to leave for good or come back? "One way." I paid the guy and walked to the train. I took my seat, plugged in my earphones and pulled out Alexander's batman blanket from my bag. I pulled out my phone and I had a billion texts from everyone, but decided to open Jack's.

Jack: Lex, wherever you are, be safe love. Do what you have to do, but remember. You'll get him.

Me: I love you Jack. And I hope I will. He'll always have me in that trance. I promise, one day, we'll meet up again.

Jack: How will I know it's you?

Me: I'll make you a deal. Wherever we meet again, I’ll be the girl singing

Jack: stay safe xo.