End Up Here (Ziam AU)

Chapter Fifty Six

When they pull apart a few minutes later, both of them are breathless, and Liam notices how red and swollen Zayn's lips look from all the kissing, Zayn bites his lip, running and hand through his hair as he does. "So Li, do you want to talk about it now, or wait until later?" Zayn asks, Liam sighs but he should have know this was coming. Should have known Zayn wasn't going to just let it drop completely, it's one of the things he loves about his fiancé, how much he really cares for everyone around him, but right now Liam's not sure it's a good thing, because he doesn't really know how to put it all into words. Zayn's just sitting beside him, waiting and Liam's grateful for it, he really is, sighing Liam turns so he's facing Zayn more fully. "There's really not a lot more to talk about, it's like I told you this morning, I can't protect her, or you for that matter from the things that really matter. The cast Bella's got right now is proof of that, I'm a terrible father Zee. You should probably find someone else, someone who can keep you both safe. Especially with Sadie nosing around again" Liam murmurs. Zayn groans, he actually groans, running a hand through his hair in obvious frustration, before he turns to Liam, who is just confused if he's honest, about why Zayn seems so agitated, when he wanted to know what it was that was bothering Liam in the first place.

Before Liam can dwell on it too much though Zayn is kissing him again, much like in the the kitchen this morning, it's urgent and messy and makes Liam's head spin, "Zayn what?" he mumbles when they break apart. Zayn just shakes his head "you don't get it do you Li?" he mumbles and Liam furrows his eyebrows, because he doesn't understand not entirely. "No I don't, can you please explain it?" Liam asks, beginning to get a little upset and frustrated about more than just his apparent inability to protect his family. Zayn's expression is soft, but still unreadable to Liam as he reaches out to take his hand in his own, "those fears you have, about not being able to protect Bella, and me. About not being enough for us, they're normal Liam" Zayn murmurs. Liam opens his mouth to say something but snaps it shut again, unable to form the thoughts in his head into coherent words. Zayn smiles at him leaning over to kiss his cheek, "every parent has those fears Liam, that's what makes you such a good father. Yes you're right you weren't able to protect Bella from getting hurt by that idiot reporter. But you were there by her side the whole time, you're the one who rode in the ambulance with her, made sure she was safe, comfortable and most of all not scared anymore" Zayn says fiercely. Liam furrows his eyebrows as he lets Zayn's words sink in, "but she only got hurt because of me" he mutters. Zayn sighs again shaking his head "no she got hurt because of the reporters, not you, Li" he says gently. Liam sighs shaking his head, he's not sure why he's feeling this way, he just knows he doesn't feel like enough for Zayn and Arabella.

Zayn is suddenly sitting on Liam's thighs, looking directly into his eyes, "tell me something Li, last night who was it that got rid of the monsters so Bella would go back to sleep?" Zayn asks. Liam sighs, before shaking his head, "me, but Zayn that's not the same as protecting her, and you from the things that really matter" he mumbles. Zayn nods, "true, but like I said those fears you have are normal. Also who was it that kept Sadie away from her in the park, that reassured Bella that the nasty reporters would never get near her again. Who does she want most nights when she has a nightmare, who chases the monsters away?" Zayn presses. Liam frowns, he can see what Zayn's doing and it actually is helping, "me?" Liam asks, more than answers and Zayn nods, grabbing his face in his hands. "Yes it was you, Liam. You're Bella's daddy now and unfortunately that doesn't automatically mean you have it all figured out. But that's okay, because no parent ever does Li" Zayn says fiercely. Liam can feel the tears prickling at his eyes as he lets Zayn's words sink in, "thank you Zayn" he mumbles before surging forward and kissing Zayn deeply. Zayn responds instantly, Liam can feel him melting into the kiss, and can feel himself relaxing more with each passing second. When they pull apart Zayn stares into Liam's eyes for a second before Liam turns his head away "what?" Liam asks Zayn grins, "you okay now?" he asks and Liam nods because he is, he knows that at the end of the day no matter what happens he's going to do his best by Zayn and Arabella, and no one can ask more of him than that.

They're quiet after that, Zayn still sat in Liam's lap, as Liam fully processes the conversation they just had. Sure he still feels a little insecure about his ability to protect Bella and Zayn from any danger, but it's less of a crushing weight, that will keep him up all night, and more of a tiny voice in the back of his mind. Zayn kissing him again pulls Liam out of his thoughts, and he looks at Zayn carefully as they pull apart. "Let's do something today, just you and me" Liam murmurs, and Zayn nods, "what did you have in mind?" he asks, and Liam shrugs, because he really doesn't care, just doesn't want to be cooped up all day long. Zayn is suddenly climbing out of his lap, and Liam pouts at his absence before Zayn reaches out and grabs his hand pulling him to his feet and leading him towards the door and their shoes. Liam tangles their fingers together as they exit the apartment, heading down the hallway, "where are we going?" he asks curiously. Zayn just shrugs, gesturing the elevator, "let's just go explore, see where we end up. We don't have to pick up Bella until five" he answers. Liam just nods, pulling their connected hands up to kiss the back of Zayn's hand, "I love you Zayn Malik" he murmurs. Zayn grins slapping his free hand against the elevator button "I love you Liam Payne" he murmurs back, as they wait for the elevator. As they step onto the elevator to start their adventure Liam can't help the smile that creeps onto his face, sure he doesn't have all the answers and probably never will, but at least he has Zayn to help him figure it all out.

____________________________________________________________________________________

A/N:  So here you go! Sorry this took so long I've had a lot of nonsense going on, and never really had time to sit down and write, or edit. 
Poor insecure Liam. Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed these chapters, let me know if you did. (Although I can't force you to comment, they do make me smile). 
Until next time xoxo