Heart of Glass

Chapter 4

I awake the next morning feeling depressed. I didn't get much sleep last night; Phil circled my brain and I couldn't stop thinking about him. I groan and roll over, landing on something hard. I shoot up, alarmed, only to see it's just TABINOF. I sigh, running my hand through my hobbit hair. My eyes flicker to the neatly folded piece of paper that rests on my nightstand. Shaking my head, I force myself to get up and go into the kitchen.

The trending hashtag on Twitter alarms me. #Phil? Apprehensive, I go on Twitter to do some research.

Apparently, people had seen Phil wandering aimlessly through the streets, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his music turned up loud. He was wearing all black, which is unlike him, and tears ran down his pale cheeks. Concerned, fans tried to talk to him, but he ignored them, also unlike Phil. Everyone is spamming me, trying to see if I knew what was wrong. Holding back more tears, I shut my phone off and retreat to my room.

The note calls to me, and I long to read it. I reluctantly reach out and wrap my fingers around the delicate paper, carefully unfolding it. Bracing myself, I start it read. At first, it's my voice, but soon it's replaced by Phil.

Dear Dan,

I'm sorry I have to leave. I love you so much, I really do, it's just I need space. There's something I need to tell you. I can't do it in person, and I don't want to see your reaction, so I'm leaving for a while until I know it's safe to come back.

Remember when we first started dating, and you returned to see PJ leave our flat? He hadn't just been there to film a video. He tried to kiss me. And I kissed him back. I'm so sorry, Dan. It was an impulse. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I pulled away and told him to leave. Please don't be mad. I know I've put you through enough, but I hope that you'll still take me back.

Hopefully I'll be able to return by next Saturday.

I stop reading momentarily, vision blurred by tears. Furiously wiping them away, I glance at my phone screen. Wednesday. Four more days, I tell myself. You only have to hold on for four more days. Sighing, I continue reading.

I don't know if you'll be a bit more calm then, but it's what I'm hoping. I suck at everything, especially forgetting about you. I know I won't be able to survive for longer without you. So, I'll return, whether you're ready or not.

I miss you, Dan. I haven't even left yet and I already miss you. I won't go into our room for one last goodbye, though. I know that if I do that, I won't ever leave.

Well, I really should be going. I'm sorry, Dan. I love you so much. Please don't hate me.

Always, Phil

I swallow the lump in my throat, running my fingers over Phil's signature. Taking a deep breath, I hug the paper to my chest. My eyes begin to sting, and I blink furiously. No more tears. I don't know what to think.

I love him.

He cheated.

I love him.

He cheated.

I love him.

I let out a frustrated yell. "Why, Phil?" I cry, flinging my fist out. It collides with the wall, and my knuckles ache, but I don't care. I relish the pain. It shows me that I'm still alive and I'm not in h*ll. My knees give away, and I collapse. I can't control the sobs. The worst kind of crying is when you are trying to hold it back, but you can't. The sobs wrack your body, every one ripping through your chest and damaging your heart even more. I am crying like that, but worse. I can't breathe, and it feels like there's a hole right in the center of my chest, where my heart is. I feel as though I've just been ripped in two.

Why, Phil?

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Hey guys :)

I (Ansley) wrote this chapter, and Mariana wrote the last one

I don't know if we're still going to enter this book in that contest because it has to be done by tomorrow and I don't know if we'll be able to do that

Nevertheless, the book will still exist and we'll still finish it. BBDC will also still be entered

Hope you enjoyed <3