Friends Or More..?(Siddharth Nigam) #Missiondesi

(8) Because She Means Too Much

Siddharth's POV:

I was sitting at the bench, my favourite bench. But where ever I went, a painful memory of that selfish girl came in to my mind.
No matter how pretty and beautiful she is, or how much I felt for her. As a friend that is.
I felt guilty once I had thrown that tantrum. I never wanted to hurt Aliyah, even if she did use me.
I closed my eyes and immediately a picture popped into my head, of a beautiful girl I know. She was crying, her eyes were red and her tears soaked into her smooth skin.
I felt tears bridging under my eyelids.
Slowly, the image shifted, and the same girl stood, and had a smile plastered on her face and her eyes were fill of happiness.
I shot my eyes open, shaking my head to forget about her, but Abhishek's words kept ringing in my head, she planned this. From the moment you met.
Abhi was right. Truth really did hurt. No, it killed.

I closed my eyes and decided to take a nap, to clear my head and forget I ever met her.

My dreams didn't seem to help the situation.

I was back at home. I saw my Mum, too busy making food. I saw...myself. The five year old me. Abhi was beside me, playing video games.
I heard the unclick of the door lock and immediately understood who had arrived. I chucked my controller and raced to the front door. Where a tall handsome man stood, his grin growing.
My Dad.

I ran to him, hugging him tightly, which he returned. My Mum rushed out if the kitchen, followed by my brother.

Dad lifted me up in his arms, we all laughed and giggled. I could see Mum so happy it almost made me smile in my sleep.
I could see Abhi laughing, our car racing game playing in the background.

Then, the very next day, I saw glimpses of a car, crashing into a red truck. And then reports and police officers at our door. My Mum in tears and denial that her husband had not died.
I could see me, not understanding the situation but getting the general idea that something was wrong. Abhi was sprawled on his bed, hugging our family picture and weeping.
All I did was frown and hide behind the door whilst the officers made my Mum sign something.

Soon the dream changed.
I was my fifteen year old self, in my room, but something was wrong. My eyes widened at the sight of Aliyah on my bed. She had a white cloth placed, and I realised where I was.
My Mum walked in, and sat beside Aliyah, who slowly gained consciousness.
She sat up and was confused by where she was.

The day I met her.

Once Mum explained to her the circumstance, she seemed to loosen up. Then I saw me walk up to her.

The scene changed and we were in the living room. Talking.
And I realised how happy..and innocent she seemed. In fact, she didn't seem to act like the evil master mind.

Soon, I was sitting in the lunch hall and Aliyah came up to me. She had a twitching eyebrow as though she wanted to tell me something.
But before she could say anything, I stood up and burst out everything I had stored.
I saw her eyes. They were pure and true. They were begging me to believe her, that she hadn't used me.
But I stormed of.

And then I awoke.
The night had fallen and the atmosphere had chilled. My limps were frozen and I literally had to drag them off the bench.
My cheeks were wet with fresh tears and every time I thought of the dreams, I felt regret rolling up inside of me.
What was wrong with me? Aliyah was telling the truth, she never meant to use, not for any selfish reasons.

I stood up and warmed my muscles before making my way towards Aliyah's dorm.
My heart was strangely thumping loudly.
My blood roared in my ears and my cheeks were heating up.

As I was hitching through the grass, I noticed that Aliyah's room's window was right there.
Knowing that it was wrong, but doing it anyway, I wiped the mist off the window and peeked inside.

I froze. Anger once again filled my mind and a strange feeling took over my heart. It burned.
I saw Aliyah and Ayaan leaning in. For a kiss.
And my heart decided that I should just forget I ever met Aliyah. Because an unexplainable hole had pierced through it, and it growled with pain.
I couldn't see Aliyah with any other boy.

Because she means too much to me...