The Alpha's Rose

Chapter 7: monster in shining armor

Hey guys, so this chapter is kind of confusig. The picture above should help you understand it more.

This chapter's song: Demons by imagine dragons.

°°°

~Rose Marie Valentine~

The monster left me to face my demons in a cold, dark room.

I was glad that I was finally alone for a few seconds, when fear struck me again.

I was never one to be scared of darkness, I even thought of it as a peaceful and private sanction, but this was a kind I have never encountered before.

It was so dark, I couldn't even see my fingers, yet somehow I happened to make out shadows looming around the room. Great, I'm delusional.
And whenever I closed my eyes, searching for tranquility, dark angry eyes invaded my thoughts.

The worst part is having to deal with my mixed feelings.

I was a strong girl, I can handle my pack burning down, I can handle being separated from my family, I can handle not ever being mated and my wolf abandoning me. I knew I can.

But then I'm not sure I'm that strong. It's like I don't even know me. I wanted to break down and cry, cry for the loss I faced today. But then I was crying for not knowing what to do, who am I? I felt like my thoughts and emotions didn't belong to me, like they here all acts I was tricking myself with.

The worst feeling I have ever experienced is that of fearing yourself, not trusting your own thoughts.

I have never thought of who I am separately. It was always me and Jason. Now I didn't have him, nor my wolf, or even my pack.

It was just me, and I was scared of myself. I was never alone.

Then came in the alpha. After all he has done to me, after he has crashed my life and broke it into pieces, after he has stripped me off all I ever held close to my heart, I hated him with every bone in my shivering body.

Yet against my better judgement, I wanted him to come back into the room. He can start shouting, screaming, if he wishes. I would choose anything over the loneliness I feel now.

I was scared of discovering who I am, and I will not ever accepted the fact that now I'm alone.

I didn't trust myself.

I didn't want to admit it, but I needed the monster to scare away my demons.

And so, I swallowed down my dignity and started to whisper out for him. "Alpha." what was supposed to be a loud call was nothing but a mere mummble.

By now, I was no longer shaking from the coldness against my bare legs and arms, but from the fear that even he has left me alone.

"Alpha." I kept on chanting more, not wanting to give up. "Alpha. Please. I'm scared."

He didn't come for me.

But that didn't stop me from calling out in desperation.

I backed up more into the bed post, securing my back, reveling in the thought that atleast no harm can reach my from behind that now there was a wall supporting me. My eyes now were wildly moving drom left to right, thinking that whichever it was that will appear out of the darkness will be defeated by my stare.

And then I heard a loud, shrilling, ear piercing scream. That had me thinking; good, so I wasn't the only one in the room, okay, it's fine, I wasn't the only one scared.
And I kept on calling for him.

Soon after, strong arms arms wrapped around me, bringing me close to warmness. I haven't even realized I was that cold.

My face was no pressed into a chest, as I was being rocked back and forth. Was I hallucinating again?

The thought alone sent to into more hysterical pleas for the alpha.

That was until his voice startedled me. "I'm here." his voice wasn't soft, it wasn't reassuring. He spoke brief words with a harsh tone. As if he was commanding something. Or if he was scorning me, like a child caught stealing cookies. But the strength in it calmed me down. Maybe he was the monster, but he was strong enough to chase my fears away.

And even though I feared him, I feared my thoughts most.

( AN/ was gonna stop here but thought you guys are so awesome, so here's a thank you)

I raised my head sharply, snapping my eyes to look straight into his. Taking him in. "You're here." I repeated out his words, trying to convince myslef. My eyes searched his for any sort of emotion, rather than his stone glazed ones, to make sure he was not a figment of my imagination. But I found none. So my hands reached out to his face, my fingers running slowing along his strong jaw, my finger tips gliding softy on his lips, and finally resting onto his cheek. The whole time my eyes followed my hands movement. Concentrating on what I'm going. "You're here." I stated one more time. My eyes now returned their focus onto his. I could see his jaw clenching, but he gave no other signs of what he was feeling. He nodded slightly at my words, confirming them.

"I'm scared." i told him truthfully, not holding back my thoughts.

His eyes hardened. "Of me." it wasn't a question, he was stating a fact he already knew.

I sensed him moving away from me, ready to leave the room. My hand falling down to my side.

"No." that made him halt a bit, still crouched down beside me. Then his whole body tensed up, "Is someone here?" he growled out.

I wish.

I shook my head no at him.

"Did something happen?" he pressed more. Can't he just stay. He seemed frustrated by my lack of answer and rose up, now fully standing up.

He was leaving.

I reached out, clutching onto his arm. "Don't leave." I couldn't bring myself to look at him, I was ashamed of myslef. "I don't want to be alone." I clarified. "Stay." I plead.

"You're hands are freezing." his words were forced out of him, barley escaping his clenched teeth. Was he mad that I touched him with my cold hands? I retreated, releasing my hold on him.

After what seemed like forever, with silence only growing more by the second, Alpha did something that surprised me. He extended his hand out to me. "Come on, let's get you out of this place."