Lucifer [Louis] [On Hold]

21 | I n e v i t a b l e

SEVENTY YEARS LATER

JENNY MCCAULEY THOUGHT she was prepared. She'd had months to come to terms with the inevitable that was unravelling before her, and although that didn't make things easier and she didn't want to contemplate what life would be like after, she could no longer remain in denial: her mother was dying. 

She'd known it for months, had time to accept it and try as best she could to get herself together in time for the day when she would have to say goodbye. Countless hours she had poured into reading self-help books and crying to her family and friends about what she would do without her mum in her life. It was painful, even just to think about. 

Jenny reached out to grasp her mother's old, wrinkled hand and gave it a small squeeze. A reassuring squeeze, more so for her own comfort than her mother's. In comparison to her own, her mother's hand was cold and bony and the observation alone sent shivers down Jenny's spine. Hours previously it had been warmer and more ... alive. 

Every breath seemed weaker than the last and she knew there was nothing more she or the doctors could do to help. 

The disease was terminal. 

With a single glance up at the heart monitor, Jenny couldn't hold back the tears any longer. The figures had decreased alarmingly in the last ten or so minutes.

"Could I have a moment alone with my mum?" Jenny asked the doctor who was standing silently in the doorway. With a sympathetic nod, the lady moved out of the room, the door closing with a faint click behind her. 

Jenny took a deep breath and quickly wiped away her tears with her sleeve.

"Oh, God," she croaked. "Where the hell do I begin?"

Jenny knew there would be no answer and yet the silence only upset her further; she was so used to her mother speaking back or dropping some kind of sarcastic comment, even after the diagnosis. There wasn't a thing in the world that brought her mother down, not even her illness.

"I – I don't quite know what to say... Well, I do know but I'm not entirely sure how. I love you, Mum. I want you to know that first and foremost. I know we argued from time to time and over stupid little things but ... I love you and I want you to know and remember that. I know Tristan would tell you the same if he were here...

"That stupid brother of mine," Jenny laughed through her tears. "He's here in the hospital, Mum. You remember his wife, Katie? She's about to have a baby. He's with her at the moment but I know he wishes he could be here too. Surely you can understand why he's not - he needs to be there for Katie. They're about to have a little girl. You're a granny already..."

Jenny completely broke down.

All throughout her youth, her mother had been there to guide her through life, to tell her and Tristan the differences between right and wrong, good and evil. As far as her mother was concerned, the only evil in the world had been their father.

Gregory had been the most horrible man in existence; drinking and gambling more than looking after his wife and children. It was difficult, living in that kind of environment but Jenny knew that her father had not always been like that.

Her mother had told the both of them about their days as young lovers, going out for meals and participating in normal love-bird activities. It was heart warming to hear that the two of them were so sickeningly in love once upon a time. So in love, that even after he started to become a little distant, her mother still continued to love him unconditionally.