Help our souls // bws

Liars

When I went home, Ash and my parents were watching a movie. The scene slowly warmed my heart. I cried on my way back home, I didn't like being such a weak person. Maybe I was a cry baby after all. But she was worth my tears more than anybody. I would give everything just to see her again, one last time. I was about to join them when I felt my phone vibrating. It was James. "Hey Clary, I'm having a party tomorrow night at mine, I thought you could come ? You can bring Spencer too :)" . I think I should go, but I'll ask Ash first.

"Hey loves of my life." I smiled, sitting on the couch next to my mum. They all smiled back at me.

"Hey sweetie, you okay ?" My dad asked while my mum was running one hand through my hair. My eyes burnt still but with my family surrounding me, I felt stronger.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. I love you all and I'm sorry, so sorry, for everything" I said. I thought it kind of freed me, to go there and tell these things to her or at least to her grave. Maybe she was there too, listening to me. Maybe she forgave me. I hope she did. I would always feel guilty for that, I tore her away from my parents and I knew it hurts them everyday, way more than it hurts me.

"Clary, you don't need to be sorry for anything. We're not angry at you and we will never be okay ? We love you so much." My dad quietly eased me. His words warmed my heart even more.

"Yeah Clary, we love you so much, and you know what I do to people I love ?" Ash asked, walking towards me, smirking.

"Oh no, I know that look." I ran to the kitchen. She was going to tickle me, and she knew how ticklish I could be. One time, when we were on holidays, my father began to tickle me and after five seconds, I cried of laugh, begging him to stop. I chuckled at the memory.

"You can't escape, Clary." She was right. She succeeded. My neck, my belly, my back, every part of me that was more sensitive than others, she found them. I laughed that hard that I started crying.

"Okay, okay, st-stop it." I couldn't restrain myself from laughing. My breath became succinct. She couldn't help but burst out of laughing and when she finally stopped, my legs buckled and I lamentably fell on the ground. My stomach ached.

"Girls ! What about ordering pizzas ?" My mum shouted. I looked at Ash. We smirked. Who would say no, honestly ?

"Yes !" We both shouted back and ran upstairs to take my laptop. The rest of the evening was perfect. We ate our pizzas and played board games. It was everything I needed. As it got a bit late, my parents went to bed so we went to my room. Ash always slept in my room when she came.

"Thank you Ash, thank you for being there, always. You know you're like my second sister. I love you." I murmured and hugged her.

"No problem Clary. You're like a sister to me too. I know you miss her, I do too, but I'm happy you're trying to really move on. Love you." She whispered in my ear and placed a protective kiss on my temple. She knew Gabriela and she loved her too, Gabriela considered her like another sister.

"So... You know that guy I went on a 'date' with ? He invited me to a party tomorrow, and I think I'm going. Is that okay with you ? I mean, you're coming ? He said Spencer could come too. It would be like in the good old days." I needed to ask her before saying yes, because if she didn't want to go, I won't go neither. She came up here for me, I won't let her alone.

"Yeah, yeah why not. Since when do you enjoy partying though ?"

"I don't. Well, I went to like, two parties in my life, so maybe this one will be cool. Plus, it's with you. So if it's boring, we can always leave and come back here to watch a movie." I beamed at her. "I need to text Spencer." I took my phone and asked her if she wanted to come. She texted me back in the minute saying yes. "She said yes." Ash smiled, but it looked a bit... weird ? Never mind. We'd have fun, I hoped.