Help our souls // bws

Beautiful stranger

I was at the public swimming pool, a covered and indoor pool. Actually, I was in the changing room. No one but me was here. There wasn't a single noise. I needed to see if there was someone. Being here on my own, alone, scared me. The heavy silent scared me, it felt like I was never going to hear a sound anymore, like no one would ever talk to you again. Was anyone had ever talked to me ? Had I talked to someone before ? I was so confused. My lips couldn't move, I couldn't say anything, and no matter how hard I tried to speak, to scream, to beg for help, no one could hear me. Was I forgetting how to speak ? No, that was impossible. I had so much more to say. And how could I help people to get better if I couldn't say anything to them, if I couldn't guide them ? I didn't want to be useless in this irrational world which clearly needed to be save. People were being more and more cruel towards each other. There was more and more victims of the normalization of violence in the world who need to be help, who didn't have any reasons to carry on living. These people needed our attention, we needed to give them a reason to live why, we needed to fix them. Sometimes they just needed one word, they just needed to see that someone cared about them, they just needed a little love from someone. Of course love wouldn't stop wars or bullying, but it could make a difference to so many people. But how could I do that if I was losing my voice ? I was being trapped by the silent, I was its captive, I couldn't escape.

I was cold, the wind hit my skin. Why was there wind ? The place wasn't indoor anymore. There was nothing around me anymore, miles and miles of wasteland. My heart raced, my breath taken away. I needed to move, I needed to get out of this hell. The ground moved underneath my naked feet as I tried to stand up. I lost my balance. My legs were shaking. I didn't want to fall, I felt like I wouldn't be able to ever raise up. I was bathed in tears, I hadn't even noticed the tears running down my face.

All of sudden, the ground became stable. Someone had grabbed my arm. The mysterious person took me in its arms and stopped me from falling, as my legs didn't seem to work anymore. I assumed it was a man, as he was really tall and strong, and he didn't seem to have breasts either. My head on his chest, my eyes closed, I could feel myself becoming deliriously drunk on his perfume. I was not shaking anymore. My heartbeat was back to normal. A sweet warmth emanated from him and made me feel home. I couldn't tell for how long we stayed like that, but I could tell I didn't want it to end. Being wrapped in his arms was the best feeling I'd ever had.

I opened my eyes slowly as I felt him moving. The scenery had changed. Everything was green, a lot of flowering trees surround us, with birds singing on their limbs. All kind of animals were here, doing what they wanted. They didn't seem to notice me, us. A hind taught to its child how to walk and a squirrel ran on a tree with an acorn, probably saving a lot of them for the winter. A fox slept peacefully, looking so calm, like if there was no danger around him.  

I looked up and suddenly the sky was a lilac sky, the clouds were heading their way, slowly. I looked down and the scenery has changed again. A beautiful blue and green scenery.

There was a pond, lining with bulrushes and irises, the weeping willows' branches falling everywhere. Frogs were jumping from one water lily to another. The water was turquoise, just like my eyes. Did the colour of my eyes affect the way I see ? I didn't know. I just noticed I stood on a bridge. A brown bridge, brown like this school guy eyes.

Where was the man ? I didn't feel him behind me anymore. I had looked everywhere around me but I couldn't find him. It didn't feel right, I was not safe. I closed my eyes, running out of air. "Breathe. Breathe." A voice said. 

"Where are you ? Don't let me! Come back, please!" Once again, a stream of tears was running on my face. I fell on my knees, hiding my head in my hands. 

"I'm not far, Clary" I tried to suppress my sobs, in vain. 

"Don't... Let... Me..."

I needed to move, I needed to find him, find someone.

As I stood up, I felt the pain in my legs, my arms, all my body hurt. My head spun, all I saw was some black points, blurring my vision. After blinking a thousand times, I eventually could see clear. But it had changed. Again.

It was now a desert, a land of sand, white sand. The sun beat hard on my white skin, soon enough it would turn red. The air seemed to wave in front of me. Was it me ? No. It was just too hot. I started to walk, without knowing where I was heading. Hopefully an oasis would appear soon. Walking, walking, walking. I couldn't hold on anymore. I felt my strength slowly disappearing. Was I destined to die here ? Was that how I am going to end ? I guess it was. I fell on the sand, incapable of walking anymore. I closed my eyes and smile. The sand was soft and warm. That was not that bad, actually.

When I thought it was over, I sank in quicksand. I stopped breathing, surprised I was still breathing in the first place. Instead of being eaten by some sand animals, I fell on a... ground ? I couldn't open my eyes. It was cold. Suddenly I felt something on my skin. Then thousands. But I couldn't move. They wee hurting me. "Help, please, someone help me!" I screamed.

"Clary ? Clary ?! Wake up, now, wake up !" I woke up with a start. My pajamas were soaked, so was my pillow and my bed. What the hell just happened ? I turned my head and saw my mum with a panicked expression on her face. "Clary, baby, are you okay ? What has happened ? Why did you scream for help ?" I remembered now. I remembered my dream, or should I call it a nightmare ? I probably should, as tears ran all over my face. What kind of nightmare was that ? It was horrible, the only thought of it made me cry more. "Oh sweetheart, come here." She said, holding me tight. She smelled as usual, I liked her perfume. She had the same since I was born, it was kind of her trademark. Everyone who knew her knew when she was around just by smelling her perfume. It appeased me. I had the control on my breath, my muscles are slowly relaxing. It felt good. 

"I had a nightmare. It's nothing mum, sorry I worried you." I smiled at her. "Thank you, I love you." 

"Are you sure you're okay ?" She questioned, looking at me with a worried look. 

"I'm fine, don't worry" Oh shit. It was Tuesday. Shit shit shit. "Mum, what time is it ?!" She looked at her watch. "8:48am" 

"Oh sh.." 

"Young girl! No swearing in here." She cut me.

"I'm sorry, but I was supposed to start school at 9!" 

"Well you will start at 10." She shrugged. "It's not like you missed the whole day. Don't make a big deal out of it okay? Come on, go take a shower. I need to go to work, but call me if there's anything okay ?" 

"I will. Have a good day!" I said as she was leaving my room. I took some clothes and headed to the bathroom. I turned the water on and took off my pajamas. I needed to wash them, they were really soaked. Was it that scary ? The hot water running on my skin relaxed me. A part of my nightmare wasn't really a nightmare, at all. It was nice. Him. Everything felt so right in his arms. Why did he leave ? Where did he go ?

I turned off the water, and quickly dressed myself. I put my shoes, my jacket and my scarf on and went out of my house. I needed to hurry if I didn't want to be late. I put my music on. I'm finding me out, I'm having my doubts, I'm losing the best of me, we're all part of the same sick little games and I need a getaway, getaway. I'm wasting my days, I throw them away, losing it all on these sick little games.

I arrived at school when the bell rang. Well done, Clary. Exactly on time. I ran to my classroom and walked in just before my teacher closed the door. "Hello M'dame." I shot her my best fake smile and went to my seat. Which was taken. By Bradley. Great, my day was going to be just great. He smiled at me. I took the seat behind him, as mine is taken by an idiot. "He couldn't know." I repeated to myself in my head, not to get angry. He turned around. "So, Clary, remember that you promised to show me around ?" He winked at me.

3rd chapter, yay! Don't forget to vote and comment, it's very important to know if you like it or not :)