TOO GOOD ━ SUGG. ✓

chapter ten

Then I realized what I was doing.

I pulled away from Joe in shock and stared at him for a second as his smile slowly started to fade. I took a few steps away from him and shook my head, my hands running through my hair.

"I can't do this with you." I said as he looked at me, clearly confused.

"Do what?"

"Whatever this is!" I said and motioned between us.

"What the hell is this?" He asked, as he sat down on the edge of his bed.

"I don't fucking know!" I said, pacing back and forth. All I knew was one thing.

This was all a mistake. A huge mistake.

"You don't deserve me, you deserve a girl who knows how long their staying in England! One who doesn't have an overprotective cousin. One who's not living with your sister, for the time being!" I said as he looked at me sadly.

"Alyssa don't," he pleaded but I ignored his plea.

"This was a mistake. I'm sorry if I led you on." I said as I started to head towards the door. Joe got up from the bed and grabbed my hand before I could place it on the door handle. He pulled me back to him and looked down at me.

"Look into my eyes and tell me that you're not falling in love with me," he said breathlessly as I avoided his gaze.

"I can't do that." I whispered. Joe didn't say a word, instead he smiled softly and looked into my brown eyes.

"I can't let you fall for me Joe, because if you do, you're falling in love with my many insecurities. You fall in love with my troubled past. If you do fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate, and all my imperfections and my perceptions that nobody could ever love me. I can't do that to you, and that's why I have to let you go." I said softly as he listened his grip around my arm. I watched as a tears rolled down his cheek as he looked at me sadly.

"If you need time, I'll wait for you." He said as he wrapped me in a tight hug. He kissed my forehead before he let me go. I opened the door before I cast a glance back at him, only to see that we was walking away with his hands in his hair. I averted my gaze quickly and shut the door. Thoughts raced through my mind as I practically ran back to my room.

I let him go. The light-brown haired boy with the beautiful blue eyes.

Joe Sugg.

He kissed me and I let him go.

I pushed the thought out of my mind as I looked at the door in front of me. I knocked the door, as I realized that my key card was inside. Then the thoughts came back.

Zoë and Troye were in there and they would be the ones asking what happened. What the hell was I supposed to say to them? It seemed the the door opened too soon, only to reveal a smiling Troye. His smile turned into a frown as soon as he saw the expression on my face.

"What happened? Are you okay?" He asked as he ushered me into the room.

"Where's Zoë?" I asked.

"She's upstairs packing with Alfie," he replied, looking at me worried.

"Shit I have to pack too," I said, completely dazed.

"I already did it for you, remember?" He asked as I looked at him.

"Oh that's right," I said, distracted. Troye grabbed my shoulders and turned me so that I was facing him.

"Hey, hey listen to me!" He said loudly, causing me to snap out of my daze. I looked at him finally self-aware.

"Are you okay?" He asked for the second time.

"I'm okay," I said and looked him the eyes. He shook his head and let out a soft laugh.

"Don't bullshit me, Alyssa Deyes." He said as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"I know you're not okay," he whispered into my ear as I shook my head and hugged him tighter.

"He kissed me Troye, and then I pushed him away."

+

I UPDATED AGAIN BC I FELT LIKE IT!

I thought that this was a good place to end the chapter. It's short though which I'm not particularly happy about but it'll have to do.

Anyways #Aloe? Tell me what you all thought about the chapter!!  I wanna know what you guys think about Joe and Alyssa!

The next chapter might involve a particular Austrailan leaving but I promise you that he'll be back soon!

-Angelina