Perfect Timing

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Kirstie's P.O.V

I didn't speak to anyone for the next 4 days. The only time I did was during meet and greets, and even then it was only the fans I spoke to. I hadn't eaten much, my appetite had dissapated, the guys were trying to encourage me to have something. Scott even resolved to making mac n cheese on the bus one night, but nothing appealed to me. Shelley had left two days ago, Avi was like a little lost puppy. Mitch had tried to make him see sense that I was only doing what needed to be done - he still remained unconvinced. He though I was being selfish because I didn't have anyone to be with.

We had another show tonight and I knew it was going to be difficult. Being on stage always was but the choreo was wearing me out, we had to make sure we were high energy in order to get the same response from the crowd.

It was during soundcheck that I knew something was up, I felt a bit light-headed and nausious. I just brushed it off, putting it down to nerves. The guys kept giving me uneasy looks, I didn't want to look weak.

Scott came over to me during our break, he approached warily, as if I was some monster born in the firy abyss.

"Kirst, you don't look so good. I know you're upset about the other night, but I hate seeing you like this. I miss my Kirstie. The Kirstie that was always looking for a positive outlook, the one that was never sad. Everyone's worried Kirst, please just say something." Scott said, wrapping his arm around me.

I just shook my head. Tears started to brim in my eyes, I ran to my dressing room, shouts followed me all the way there. I was beginning to give up. I sat for an hour against the door, curled in a ball just crying, it was the only thing I had found to make me feel better.

I heard loud knocks on the door, it scared me, I didn't want anyone to see me in this state. I just sat in silence but the knocks persisted.

"Kirst, it's me, open up" Avi's voice spoke from the other side.

I remained quiet, I wasn't ready to face him.

"Kirstie, please. I'm really worried about you. Everyone is" he did sound genuinely worried but I still couldn't bring myself to talk to him.

"Kirst. Please. Let me in." he whimpered, I couldn't listen much longer so I had to open the door.

I stood up, brushing myself down and slowly creaked the door open. As soon as Avi saw the door opening he pushed past the small gap and rushed into the room. He engulfed me into a hug, sobbing slightly but holding me tight. I just stood still, like a statue, I din't wrap my arms around him - I still hadn't forgiven him for what he had said.

"Kirstie, you're scaring me please tell me what's wrong" he said, breaking away from the hug and grabbing onto my upper arms - shaking me slightly.

I flinched slightly at his sudden, almost aggressive movements. He had scared me slightly, and as soon ad he noticed this he loosened his grip but still held onto me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare or hurt you" he said softly. I smiled slightly still staring down at the ground, tears still stained my cheeks.

"Kirstie, talk to me please? Why are you like this?" He said, kneeling down in front of me trying to gain my eye contact.

"Because I'm not important" I said quoting him. New tears began to curve their way down my face.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"I'm not important - you said so yourself" I said, deciding to face him and not ahy away anymore.

"I never said anyth-" he started but I cut him off.