Ready To Run (Jalex)

Twenty Two

    "Alex, wake up." The older boy whispered and gently cupped his cheek. He was sitting on the edge of the bed. The younger boy was laying under the covers and sleeping. His face looked peaceful and calm. His eyelashes fluttered once in a while, and his breathing was regular. Jack liked to watch Alex sleep, but he needed to wake him up. He sighed and put his hand back to his pocked. "Alex." He tried again. This time, the blonde boy's eyes flew open. He yawned, stretched and rubbed his eyes. Then he glanced at Jack and furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you want?" he asked and crossed his arms. "Good Morning to you, too." The older boy chuckled and got up. "Breakfast is ready. So do whatever you do in the morning and come downstairs." He added and walked out of the room. Alex just sighed and yawned once again.
Why am I so tired? I slept for so long... Whatever.
He stood up and walked over to the wardrobe. He opened it and found out that it was empty. Then he noticed the bags next to his bed. He grabbed one of the bags, opened it, found a pair of boxers, a white t-shirt, a black Green Day hoodie and a pair of black skinny jeans. He got dressed, put on a black beanie to hide his messy hair and walked out of the room with that familiar sinking feeling in his chest. He ran down the stairs and anxiously came to the kitchen. Jack was preparing waffles. He put the two plates on the table and smiled at the younger boy. He sat down and patted on the chair next to him. Alex hesitantly sat down and looked everywhere, just not at his boyfriend. "Are you still mad?" the older boy asked, and Alex just shrugged. Jack sighed and ate a piece of the waffle with furrowed eyebrows. "So you're not talking to me?" he asked after a while. Alex shrugged again and played with his food. "Okay. At least eat something." Jack sighed and continued with eating the rest of his breakfast.
I can't eat it all. I just-It's too much! I'm going to be so fat after this.
He tried to eat at least half of the food on his plate, but he felt too bad to eat it all.
I'm probably going to throw up. I feel like I'm going to be sick any moment. I feel so...disgusting. This is too much. I hate it.
"Alex? Are you okay?" Jack asked and the younger boy just nodded, but the tears on his cheeks said something else. "What's wrong?" the black haired boy asked. Alex just shook his head and stood up, running to the bathroom. The older boy immediately followed after him. He tried to close the door, but Jack was faster and put his leg between the door and the doorframe. "Alex! Why can't you just talk to me? What is wrong?" he asked once again, trying to fully open the door. The younger boy just shook with sobs and let the door be. He slid down the wall and cried. His stomach hurt, but he didn't know if it was for real, or just his mind trying to confuse him. "Lex, talk to me." The older boy sat down, but left a few inches between them.
I knew it, he doesn't even want to sit close to me anymore. I fucked up so bad.
He just cried harder, wanting Jack to just hug him. But the older boy still kept the distance. "I-I just-my stomach-" he sobbed. Jack smiled sympathetically and sighed a little.
It hurts me so bad to see him like this. I just want to hug him, but I know I can't. He needs his time.
"It's okay Alex. It's going to be hard, hard work, but in the end, you'll be glad we did it. We'll make it. Okay?" he said and stood up. He reached his hand towards the younger boy, smiling softly. Alex just whipped away his tears and accepted the help. He gripped Jack's hand, and the older boy helped him up. Jack let go of his hand right after, which made Alex feel even worse, but the older boy didn't know that. "We can go and watch a movie. Do you want to?" he asked and the younger boy just nodded with his head down. "So, I think I'm not going to give you any points. It was a stupid idea. I'm sorry." The older boy added and smiled apologetically. "Okay. Thanks." Alex just whispered and sniffed. He still felt useless. "Fine. Let's go." Jack said and skipped to the living room. Yes, skipped. It made Alex smile a little.
________

The rest of the day was nice. Alex still felt a lot uncomfortable, and Jack still didn't want to touch him, but it was a lot better than arguing. Jack made Alex eat a salad for lunch, but he refused to eat dinner. Jack was still proud for the progress, though.
"Hey, Alex? I-this is awkward, but-I need to check on you, you know what I mean." The older boy said. They were sitting on the couch in the living room, watching some stupid TV show, wrapped in blankets. It was the first of November, and the weather was getting colder and colder. The younger boy shivered, partly from the cold, partly from Jack's words.
But...That means I have to get naked in front of him. I don't want to do this. I can't do this. I can't-I know he already saw me naked but-Ugh.
He decided to ignore Jack. He pulled out his phone and opened the Tumblr app, pretending he didn't hear what he said. "I know you heard me. Alex, please. This is important." Jack sighed, stood up, walked over to Alex and took his phone. He put it on the table and crossed his arms. Alex was panicking a little.
What do I do? He can't just force me to do this. He can't.
"I-I don't want to take my clothes off." He whispered and clutched the blanked closer to him, watching Jack skeptically. "I know it's uncomfortable for you, but-You don't have to get completely naked. And I won't touch you, I swear, I just need to know you're okay." He said and sat down next to him. He looked Alex straight in the eyes. "Please." He added in a whisper.
"Fine." Alex whispered and got up. He took of his hoodie and t-shirt. He was uncomfortable and his hands were shaking. He slowly took of his jeans, crossed his arms, looking everywhere, just not in Jack's direction and bit his bottom lip in nerves. "Oh my god." Jack gasped, when he saw all of the scars. They were covering his things completely. Some of the scars were even on his stomach. There wasn't much of them, but they were deep.
Why would he do that? He is perfect, I don't understand this. I just don't.
Jack put his head in his hands and sighed. He was shocked again. He saw it that night in the shower, but he tried to block that image out. Now he saw it again, without all the rush and all the stuff that happened before, and he lost it.
I have to help him. He doesn't deserve this. Oh my god. I need to make sure he doesn't have any new cuts, though.
He looked up again, and checked Alex's body once again. The cuts seemed a few days old. "Show me your hips." He ordered quietly. Alex just nodded, whipped away the few tears that escaped from his eyes and pulled his boxers a little bit lower. There were more cuts, even deeper than the ones on his thighs. Jack shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "You can put you clothes back on." He said and put his head in his hands again. The younger boy just dressed up in a hurry and sat back down, crying again. "I'm sorry." He said, his voice cracking. Jack looked up and shook his head. "No. I'm sorry. For not noticing sooner and for not helping you. I just-Alex, I have to help you. I need to. But you need to talk to me, okay?" he asked and smiled a little. "Okay." Alex whispered and nodded. "Okay. So-when did you last cut?" Jack asked and coughed. He didn't know how to act, so he just decided to ask him some questions he needed him to answer. "Four days ago." Alex responded quietly and looked away. "Fine, that's good, I guess." Jack stated and sighed. "I think I'm going to have a shower and go to bed after." Alex broke the silence and stood up. Jack just nodded and smiled. Alex smiled back. It was just a little, barely noticeable smile, but it made Jack feel better.