Ready To Run (Jalex)

Twelwe

When Alex opened his eyes the next morning, the first thing he saw was Jack's wide smile. And then his eyes. His beautiful, deep brown eyes. They were shining more than ever.
Why is he even in my bed?
And then it hit him like a truck. The accident. Jack's speech. And the kiss. He felt the butterflies in his stomach going crazy. "Hi." He managed to say quietly, smiling and still looking into his boyfriend's eyes.
Boyfriend. That is...well, new. But is sounds good. I like it.
"Good morning, cutie." The older boy answered in his husky morning voice and his smile widened.
Oh god. His messy morning hair. And that smile. He is so perfect.
"Would you like some breakfast? I can make pancakes!" Jack suggested and scooted closer to the other boy. Alex just bit his lip and nodded, still staring at Jack. "Why are you looking at me like that? It's making me nervous." The older boy chuckled and blushed a bit. Alex just nuzzled into his blanket and looked away, blushing too and feeling like a fool. "Hey, I didn't say that I don't like it." the older boy said and cupped the blonde's cheek in his hand. Alex looked at him again and giggled. "You're so cheesy." The black haired boy just grinned, leaned in and gave him a short, but sweet kiss. When he pulled away, Alex was a blushing mess. "I'm gonna make the pancakes, ok? You can just...lay here and do whatever you want." Jack said a bit awkwardly and stood up. Alex just nodded and hugged the pillow next to him, closing his eyes. The older boy smiled softly at the sight.
This is so cute, I can't handle it.

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Jack was cooking the pancakes in the kitchen, smiling slightly, when suddenly he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. "What are you smiling at? Thinking about someone?" he heard Alex's sleepy voice. "Just thinking about this one boy. He is a bit shorter than me, has brownish blonde hair, beautiful brown eyes, cute smile... I don't think you know him." the older boy said in a playful tone. "Oh god, we are so cliché." Alex chuckled and nuzzled into Jack, sighing happily. "I know you love it. Please, could you let me go for a few seconds? We can cuddle after you eat your breakfast." the older boy said, putting the pancakes on the plates. "Yeah, sure." Alex smiled and let go of him. Jack placed two plates with pancakes on the table and sat down. "Come here." He patted the chair next to him and smiled at the younger boy. Alex returned the smile and sat down next to him. He just looked at his plate for a few moments, with an expression that Jack wasn't able to read, but then he started to nibble on his pancakes, trying to ignore Jack's concerned look. 

Oh my god. What do I do? I can't eat this much. I'm gonna throw up. Maybe because I'm not able to hold it in, maybe because I'm gonna make myself throw up. Either way it's gonna end up the same. But Jack... He can't find out. He doesn't need to know. He can't know.

"It's really good, but I-I don't think I can eat it all. I-I don't feel very well today." he said after a few minutes of silence. He ate about one pancake. "Try to eat at least one more. Please, for me. Alex, don't try to hide it. I-I know you have some sort of an eating disorder or something. And-And I want to help you, Alex. Please." Jack said seriously and put his hand on Alex's cheek.
He knows. Nonononono.
"I-I-I don't-I'm okay I just-just-" the blonde boy went pale and stuttered in shock. "Alex." Jack stopped him sternly. "I don't want to hear that. Please, just...Just try to accept my help, okay?" he asked and gave him weak smile. Alex just nodded, shaking a lot. "I-I just...I'm so fat Jack, don't you see? And I'm so ugly and stupid and disgusting! It's wrong, everything's wrong! I'm wrong! I hate it, I hate it so much! I want to make it stop but nothing works! Jack, make it stop! Make it stop!" he shouted, tears streaming down his face.
Oh no. Not again. Not now.
His body was shaking violently and his breathing was short and fast. More and more tears were filling his eyes. "Alex, shhh, calm down. It's okay. It's fine." Jack tried to calm him down, but it was only getting worse and worse.
Why do I always fuck things up?
Alex thought and just a few seconds later he passed out in Jack's arms.