What Is Life? (August Alsina Story)

Chapter 19

"Ma what's this?" I said pointing to the Coke on the table.

"Oh nothing sweetie, just some salt I wasted."

"Oh?"

I knew she was lying but I wasn't  gonna further the conversation. I wish her and daddy would stop that shit. Whether they know it or not but the shit is ruining their lives.

"I'm sorry but it helps me relax sweetheart. Look you're father will home in a few minutes to pick me up so I'm gonna cook you something ok?"

"Ok ma."

"C'mere Mali." She said motioning me to come sit by her.

I walked over and sat beside her on the couch,"I just wanna tell ya that whatever happens to me or ya father, never give up on what ya believe in. I want ya to always keep ya head up and never give up. I want you to pursue your dreams and control bad ass temper ya got too." She chuckled. "But just know that me and ya father luh ya so much."

"I won't ma. I know y'all luh me. I luh y'all too." I smile hugging her.

"Just makin' sho'." She said.

"Imma always luh ya ma. When I make it out. I promise Imma get all of us outta hea'. I don't wanna live here no mo. I promise Imma get of us outta hea. All of us ma, even Toni and Aunt Traci. I don't want them livin' here no mo eitha. I just can't. Aug and Trav even said they couldn't live here no mo'." I told her.

"I hear ya Mali." She said.

I was on the verge of tears,"I promise ma. I promise."

I moved around,"I promise!" I said screaming outta my sleep.

It been about 2 days since we been back in ATL and I been havin' these flashbacks about my parents lately. I don't why.

Toni sat up on the other side of the bed turnin' her head towards me,"Are you ok?"

I sighed putting my my face in my hands,"I had another flashback. It was the day I last seen them Toni."

"Aw Mali, I wish they were here with us. I miss my Aunt and Uncle. I miss my Ma too." She said huggin' me.

"I promised her I was gonna get her outta dea' mane. I promised her I was gonna get all of us outta dea' and it just feels like I let her down. I failed them." I said shakin' my head feelin' a lump in the back of my throat.

I hate feelin' like this. It make me feel so bad, because it's like I broke the promise I made.

Toni sighed,"Mali don't beat ya' self up ova' this. I'm pretty sure she said whatever you do neva' give up in what ya believe in. Always keep ya head up and neva give up. I know she said it because my ma told me the exact same thing. So do as she said and don't give up. Keep ya' head up because there's gonna be betta' days." She said assurin' me.

"Thanks Toni. It just got me kinda emotional cuz all of a sudden I just start havin' flashbacks of her and daddy outta no where. It's just this feelin' I got that I just can't explain right now. I don't know what it is." I said.

Which was true. I did have an unexplainable feelin' that just came over me ever since I came back ta' ATL. I just can't explain it. I know it's not a good feelin' and I hate that. I just hope don't no shit happen that I ain't ready fa'. I mean, as I always say, Imma always be ready fa' whateva', but ya' know what I mean.