Necessary Sacrifice

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There is a general buzz in the air.

I'm being kept separate from everyone else; kept outside the canteen until Tully is ready to head inside.

The community have been summoned, the canteen cleared. It's the biggest room in the compound, made bigger by the soldiers working all morning to haul the tables and chairs out and erect the tiny stage that will hold Tully, John, Grace, Archie and I.

Grace and Archie are already on the stage - I think Grace wanted everyone to see her face. This is her triumph, after all.

My memory of the last twelve hours is hazy at best.

Grace delivered the news with manic, smug joy. I barely understood what she was saying; too much scientific jargon, too many big words to decipher what this meant for me.

Lots of information about blood and the revival process. About the chances and the statistics. What it takes to bring a body back to life, the effort it takes to fight off the infection. The toll.

A spark, they called it. That's all they'd ever needed.

A spark of pure life to wake them up.

Tully and John had worn twin looks of bafflement.

Archie had stepped forward and explained. He'd done it very kindly. As gentle as I've ever seen anyone deliver news. He said it better than I could have.

John is at my elbow.

I wasn't allowed to leave the labs last night. Haven't been able to sleep. They were talking well into the small hours. Debating.

No one really argued for me. I didn't take it too personally.

"For what's it's worth; I'm sorry." John's voice sounds heavy. He sounds old; a brittle old man, ready to crumble at the knees.

"Sure you are."

I don't recognise my own voice. It comes from somewhere hollow in the very centre of me.

I stopped thinking a while ago. I've been numb and cold and a thousand miles away from my own body for hours. I don't even remember walking here. I don't remember protesting.

I've not put up any sort of fight; I don't suppose I get a choice. I'm not sure I'd even bother to argue if I had the strength and the presence of mind.

Tully troops into the canteen without looking at me.

A moment later, I hear Grace start to speak. Her voice is loud and bubbling with excitement. I can't hear any of it. My ears feel like they're stuffed with cotton. My eyes and nose and mouth too. There's nothing but mush in my brain.

Maybe I've always been just another dead girl.

There are so many of them. They litter the Earth. You could sow fields with the bodies of dead girls. I suppose it's only right that I join them. It's not like there's much here for me.

"Nevaeh-" John's big hand on my elbow. His flesh feels warm enough to sear. "Tully has announced you. Let's go."

My feet start to move because John is strong enough to propel me.

There are gasps and murmurs as I stumble through the doorway and into the brightly lit room.

John hoists me up onto a little stool, which hoists me up onto the little stage.

Tully wraps a hand around my wrist and tugs me to his side.

He's speaking too. Calling to a shifting crowd.

I see nothing and hear nothing. It is a blur of skin and hair and eyes in all the colours the human race has to offer.

I am jostled and wobbled as Tully turns to me and pulls my shirt sleeve up to my elbow.

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