Early Losses

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When I turn, I find the group looking at me oddly. Alissa has managed to stop crying, her bronze face patchy and pink and swollen. Drew's eyes are cast downwards. Even Mark is looking sympathetic, his mouth twisted unhappily. Nat is fighting tears. 

"I'm okay." I tell them, but my voice is a thick, unconvincing croak. 

They're all still sat in the stolen car, so I wave my hand for them to get out and follow me. I discard my duffel - all my belongs in the world, now - in the boot, and urge everyone into the roomier car. It's a people carrier, black, with good mileage. It's built for families and long, hard use. Perfect for us now. 

"Where's that paper?" I ask as I slide into the driver's seat. Nat hands me the address, and I take a moment to type it into mum's GPS. I wonder how long GPS and WiFi will work for. I wonder how quickly it will be before our modern society collapses. 

"Wait!" Alissa exclaims, "What the hell is that?" She leans over my shoulder to look at the address. "You promised to take us-!" 

"I know what I promised." I say, and my voice is tired. "And the promise still stands. But we have to go here first." 

"Absolutely fucking not!" She shrieks, "I need to get home! I need to-" 

My temper flares, and my strenuous hold on my patience snaps with a crack. I whip off my seat belt and spin around, diving between the seats so I can grip Alissa by the front of her jumper. I give her a violent shake, not caring about how rough I am.

"I couldn't give a flying fuck about what you need!" I holler, right in her face. Nat shouts, and so does Drew, and they both try to wrestle me back. I hold firm. "If you want to get home, get out and fucking walk! You'd still be back at school if it weren't for me! Dead, or worse! Stood screaming and staring like the moron you are!" 

"Nevaeh!" Nat shouts, shocked. 

Nat gets a grip on my waist and yanks me off Alissa. I fall back, spine hitting the steering wheel. 

I look around the car, at my friends, at Alissa's trembling lips. At Nat's hard expression. Mark is trying to hide a grin, but he's a dick, so I'm not surprised. 

"That was out of line, and you know it." Drew spits, he's got an arm around Alissa again. 

I fight to take a breath. To calm my temper. "Okay. All right. Yeah, that was nasty of me." I breathe again, and steady my shaking hands. "But I won't take it back. Don't you guys understand? Things aren't going back to normal, things aren't going to be okay. Not any time soon. We have to make decisions now, we have to act differently, because if we don't?" I lock eyes with Alissa, "If we don't, we're dead." 

I turn back around, put on my seat belt, and start the car. 

While I follow the GPS, I tell them why we're going there. I tell them what John said to me on the phone. 

"And we should trust what this guy says?" Mark scoffs, "Shouldn't we be listening to the news?" 

To humour him, I flick the radio on. Nothing but static. Nat flicks through the channels, but there's no music and no voices. 

"Once this thing hits, there is no more news." 

It's a quiet journey after that. 

I drive for about thirty minutes, and we end up in an industrial estate. Big warehouses, big open spaces. It's deserted. Well, save for the gym I can see in the distance, wherein I see beefy guys and slim girls tearing into each other as best they can. Screams echo, but they're half a mile away, so I'm not worried. 

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