Be mine {Completed}✔

Dear Diary..!

After making dua,he came to bed and lay down. I turned off the lights and lay down. I closed my eyes and turn to other side not wanted to face him.

How' s life become? Before marriage, I used to think about my married life and now I'm living it ,it was not the same.This is the way husband wife lives together as we are living like strangers.

I turned to see Jahan who was now in deep sleep. I could not help but to keep looking at him. My tears were rolling down again rapidly and I was stopping my hiccups.

I wish I could tell you how much you hurt me today. The behaviour of my parents and brothers didn't hurt me that much as yours hurt me.

I slowly got up and opened the drawer of my side table. I took my diary and pen and close the drawer again. I slowly got up from bed and went toward the balcony. I opened the door of balcony. I saw moonlight which enlighten the whole balcony and the half area of room. Placing a huge cushion on the floor,I sat in front of balcony on the carpeted floor. Turning to my bed side, I saw Jahan was sleeping. Jahan turned to my side. Now his face was on the balcony side. I could see his face. His one hand was under his face and one was in duvet.

I turned and looked at the moon. I opened my hair by removing the clip. I placed my hair on my right shoulder and turned left to see Jahan. I suddenly felt  a touch of cold air on my face and neck. I turned to see the moon and feel the coldness of the night by closing my eyes. I kept my eyes closed for few seconds. There was the was the slow bloom of air touching me.

I opened my eyes and placed my diary in front of me. I opened the new page and start writing.

Today was the day, when I got hurt badly. Today I came to know who I'm. Today I got my limits. Today Jahan you told me my place in your life.

Tears were forming in my eyes. I didn't  push them back but give them way to roll down on my cheeks. I looked up and looked at the moon and then at Jahan who was in his deep sleep, unaware of my pain. I again start writing.

I always think I will get my identity when the man of my life enter my life.The life I was living at my parents was just a name of life. My all dreams and wishes were belonged to this marriage and on our relationship but now it seems that my whole life is  meaningless. I as person am a meaningless person who have no importance in any one's life.

I turned to see Jahan. Myy cheeks were going more wet because of tears. I lost all control on my tears.

Who am I ? Who am I to you  Jahan? "Nothing."

I wish one day all my pain faded away and the reason behind it would be you Jahan.

Dear diary! If Jahan ever opened you,tell him that what he is for me and how much I loved him. In this one month,in my every passing moment,I felt you too near to my heart. I felt you in every moment around me. I could read your eyes but today I didn't look at your eyes because looking at your eyes makes me forget everything. Your eyes makes me strong and at the same time weak and today I didn't want to become weak in front of you. The pain you gave me today was in my eyes,and I didn't want to show it you.

I never asked you to love me, but expect that you gave me respect. Respect of being your wife.

The last thing I want to say Jahan,I didn't know if I could ever tell you this or not but in my diary I want to say.

"I love you Jahan."

"Love you more than my life."

I closed my diary and wiped my tears and looked at Jahan who was looking so cute while sleeping. I smiled looking at him. I won't give up Mr.Jahan Ahmad. I won't leave you. I smiled thinking about what was going on, on my mind.

A/N::Salaam people..!
Another update.I tried to write it little emotional but I could not carry it longer so soon will present a happy zeeniya and a naughty one.

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