Fayne Dae (A Kylo Ren Romance Fanfiction)

Chapter 6 - Forgive Me

Thank you so much everyone! I have received so much love and help in keeping this story going! I have read every single comment and I appreciate all of you!

The sun rises . . . the sun rises. And when the sun rises, light comes down again. And recollections, something . . .

She is floating. In a heaven far from home . . . pure light for miles, her body feels so heavy, yet so light at the same time. Here it is soft and warm and . . . safe. Unlike . . .

Fayne Dae opens her eyes. Unlike this world. But everything must come down from the heavens eventually. It is the law of nature. Down, where there are battles to fight, and loads to bear, and wounds to heal from.

She is lying on a soft surface, is that . . . cotton? Her sheets at home were always cotton. The sheets are linen. Ah, that smell. So fresh and clean. A sensation in her left hand, like a grip draws her attention.

His head is lying on her stomach, rising and falling with the steady breath of her resting body.

A great sadness overtakes Fayne in this moment. He has been crying and her heart weeps for his suffering. Any suffering. Fayne takes no pleasure in pain. Not when to often she has been under the force of it. Ben looks exhausted. A hollow man barely hanging on. She has forgotten what it feels like to be so close to the man she loves. She is familiar with the bitter recoil of fear, and the crushing choke of panic. Not love, except for in the company of Elle. Not this warm feeling.

And she does love him. She ponders it now. Love really does never die. She has not seen him in three years. But she does not want to let this man cease to be a part of her life. That would truly break her.

Fayne vowed to love him, to give the best of everything she was to make him the best that he could be. Fayne Dae broke that vow. Three years, six months and seventeen days ago, when she left in the middle of the night and fled from her husband.

And yes, she was frightened and all dreams of a brighter tomorrow were long since gone. But he paid for her failure to see hope. And that was not fair. But when you fail, you attempt it again. And you stand your ground. And perhaps, maybe you hit it the dirt a few times. But you rise. And you conquer. And then you win.

She makes a silent pact with herself. If she has to die trying, she will conquer this darkness. She will save Ben Solo. Because he does not deserve the heartache that the Dark Side will inevitably bring. And to achieve this aspiration, she has to stay. No war was ever easy.

"Ben . . ." she whispers.

His eyes flutter open, startling her and she forces a smile. Her long fingers run through his thick hair. She used to play with his hair all the time. For a moment, they just watch each other.

Her deep dark eyes locked on to his shadowy orbs. The woman and the man. The wife and the husband. The radiating light and the all-consuming dark.

"I'm so sorry," the man says. He rises to his full height, a towering angel of the dark. "I had to talk to you and you would never have come with me willingly."

"I'm done running from you."

He raises an eyebrow, cocking his head in barely veiled surprise. "Well, this is going well . . ."

Bless. Her doll face lights up as she bursts into a grin.

"You were always so hilarious," she chuckles. "But it's really not important to me. I know why you did it. And . . . I need your forgiveness . . ."

"You have it." He is next to her in moments, his cool hands gently stroking her neck. In the early days, when Fayne had to leave the Resistance to stay with Ben, she got depressed. Crying often, and always in secret. Until he found her in the bathroom, a heaving wreck, and held her, just like this, until she had cried herself out and sleep had taken her.

"No my friend," she ponders, her wet eyes falling to the ground.

A seared conscience is a burden that will not let up night or day. It exists in every waking moment, the god to excuse or the devil to accuse. Fayne abandoned him. And she has learnt since the day she could see, running is cowardice.

"I abandoned you . . ."

He lifts her head to his. "Hey, look at me . . ."

Tears bum her eyes yet she swallows them back. No weakness. No pity pleas.

"Fayne, look at me love." His voice rings a little louder, rife with urgency and rich with warmth.

With red eyes, she lets her head drops forwards to rest on his forehead.

"Calm down dear Fayne, calm down. I can sense your pain. It's crushing you . . . and it's hurting me."

His words make her gasp. Like a parched soul wandering in the desert, it as if she is in a cool oasis, a hiding place from the harsh heat. He's still in there,

"I forgive you Fayne."

All this time, Fayne thought that it was Ben that was the victim. That Ben was the one with that thorn in the flesh. That thirst for evil.

Fayne was wrong. It was all her. She broke the most sacred oath she had ever made. And this man dismissed her failure as if it was as far off as sunrise from sunset. She is the unworthy one. The one with the treacherous heart. The one not good enough to save him. But that must change. She can be better, because everyone can be better.

"Everything I have done love, I have done for you."

The impact does not strike immediately. There's a prod . . . but it is ignored. Nothing matters now. She knows one thing and it takes complete priority. She has been half a person for the past 3 years. Three horrible years. And now in this night, two souls once lost, bind and become whole.

How did I do with their relationship guys? And Kylo? I'm sorry I'm asking so many questions but I really want to improve it as much as possible so thank you for being patient with me!