Forbidden Fantasies (Darkest Desire Book 2)

32. Leave of Absence

Hey there! Over here in Holland TV just started a Harry Potter month, so I've been watching a lot of it lately. I also re-read some of the books and I realized something. In the books I noticed that Harry had his last Occlumency lesson AFTER Fred & George pull off their little escapade stunt with Umbridge. Here that won't be the case. I'm planning to fix this once I start editing the book, but for now I'll leave it like this. So, on that matter, bear with me. I also shuffled a few of the big events like the escape from Azkaban and the Twins leaving into a few paragraphs because the focus of this book is a bit different than that of the book. Anyways....

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How long could I do this? How long could I bear with the knowledge that I was carrying Severus's child and not tell him about it? Could I deny this baby growing inside of me his or her real father? Was there any way in which this wouldn't end in disaster?

The thoughts were haunting, and I couldn't phantom how I would deal with the torrent of emotions that would surely plague me in the upcoming months. It had now been three days ever since I returned to Hogwarts, and every day it was a challenge just to get out of bed and face the world. The thought of the life growing inside of me was enough to drag me from my warm covers and head down to the Great Hall to get breakfast, while my mind kept wondering to the situation at hand. 

Something was brewing in the air, I could feel it. There was this restlessness to the atmosphere that called for change, for something different. Something was about to happen, I just knew it. And I was willing to bet a lot of money on the fact that Fred & George would be in on it. After all, those two rascals were involved in any mischief whatsoever caused at Hogwarts. I'd heard about some of the stunts they pulled from McGonagall's many complains (although I could have sworn she was amused by some of them, even if she wouldn't admit it). Not to mention they were practically legends at school by now with all the stuff they'd pulled over the years. 

Harry seemed to have other things on his mind. He was worried about something, and the golden trio just seemed to be closing ranks. I found it admirable, the closeness of their friendship. They seemed to share an understanding that went beyond most fifteen-year-olds, which was very interesting to watch. Harry seemed to be struggling with something, something neither Hermione or Ron could fix. I figured it had to do with his dreams, his visions. And yet there was little I could do to help. As Dumbledore had  told me on numerous occasions, everyone had a role to play. And in this case mine was elsewhere. I trusted Dumbledore not to put Harry in any unnecessary danger, although that term was relatively subjective when it came to my Godfather. After all the man was as unpredictable as a Nargle on mushrooms and had a brilliant mind to even out those odds. Plotting and scheming wasn't beyond the man, and although technically he was younger than me by a few years I was still weary of his cleverness and wisdom.

Now Umbridge seemed determined to terminate Albus's position as Headmaster, and the power-thirsty bitch was probably dead set on getting the position herself. With all the new rules and decrees she'd been enforcing Hogwarts was starting to turn into a bit of a military dictatorship. With  Harry's little run-off-the-mill DADA group that got together once a week it was a small miracle they hadn't gotten caught yet. And yet I felt distanced from it all. My own situation concerned me in more ways than I'd be willing to admit. I was pregnant. Carrying a child. How was I supposed to deal with that? I was a century old being, the only one of my kind, and pregnant with the child of a spy working undercover in Voldemorts inner circle...

...What could possibly go wrong?

It was then that I made the choice to go talk to Albus. There was little else I could do. After all, I'd gotten myself into a pretty conflicting situation, and I needed a way out. After the breakout in Azkaban and all the Deatheaters that got away, now probably merrily on their way to rejoyning The Dark Lord. Harry had this whole 'Dumbledore's  Army' going on right underneath Umbridge's nose, and it was bound to blow up in his face at some point. I was conviced Albus knew about it, and yet he hadn't done anything about it. Yet. I wasn't sure what his end-game was, but it was starting to get quite difficult to focus on his scheming and plotting with all the drama going on in my own  life.