Lost | C.H. Fanfic | Complete

Chapter 19

"Are you sure it's okay? I don't wanna intrude or anything..." I asked Calum when he came back into the room. Just then, (I'm assuming) Calum's mom walked in. "You must be Jessica" she said with a warm smile. I nodded. "I'm Calum's mom, Joy. It's so nice to meet you" she said. "Its nice to meet you too" I said shyly.
"And don't you worry about staying here overnight, it's totally okay. I can't let you go out in this weather" she added with a smile before leaving the room again.

"Thanks" I called after her. "So I guess it's settled" I said, turning back to Calum and Luke. "Great, I'll go get the blowout matress, you guys can start watching a movie" Calum said before he left to get the matress.

"So you're staying over too?" In asked Luke when we sat on the couch, some old movie playing in the background. "Yeah" he answered simply and turned back to the tv. Good, I'm not good at talking either, so this is fine with me i thought as I stared at the tv blankly.

"Can I tell you something?" Luke suddenly said. "Yeah?" I asked, looking over at him. "I don't know why, I mean he's only known you for a week, but Michael and I, even Ashton and he's only seen you once, we can all tell that Calum-" he started but Calum came in with the matress, interrupting Luke.

"What about me?" He asked, setting down the matress so he could pump it up. "Nothing, it doesn't matter" Luke said immediately. "But-" I started but Luke interuppted me, repeating himself. "It doesnt matter" and I left it at that.

Once Calum had blown up the matress for me, (much to my disapproval as I can do that for myself after all) he asked us, "What do you guys wanna watch?" Luke was about to say something but Calum interuppted him. "No, we are not watching Mean Girls Luke" he said.

"Pwease Cawum?" Luke begged, pouting. "We watch it almost everytime" Calum said, ignoring Luke's protests. "Wait, you like Mean Girls?" I asked Luke, stifling a laugh. "Mean Girls is amazing" Luke said, staring at me in amazement. "Okay then..." I laughed. "And anything with Will Smith" Luke added. I stared at Luke but didn't say anything. "Calum why don't you just choose something?" I asked. "Great idea" he laughed and we ended up watching some random movie that I can't even remember the name of.

"I'm kinda hungry, do you guys want some popcorn?" Calum asked in more or less the middle of the movie. "Yeah I could eat" Luke agreed. "Um yeah I could go for some popcorn right now" I told them. Calum started to get up but I stopped him. "No I'll do it, I need to stretch my legs" I told them. "Are you sure?" Calum asked. "Yeah, where is it?" I asked."In the cupboard above the counter" Calum said and turned back to the movie.

"Okay, I'll be back" I said and made my way to the kitchen (which took a considerably long time as his house is huge). I eventually found the popcorn and put it in the microwave. After a few minutes it was ready and I poured it into a big bowl I found. I made my way back to the lounge (which also took a while) and as no was about to enter, I heard the boys talking.

I stopped at the door and listened, feeling guilty for eavesdropping. "So you really like this girl, huh?" I heard Luke say. This got my attention. I wonder who they're talking about...

"Luke shut up, I don't know what you're talking about" Calum said defensively. "Cal, I've known you a long time and I can tell, so can Mikey" Luke said pointedly. "Luke I-fine, yes but you can't tell her..." Calum's conflicted voice said after a while. "As long as you promise to tell her eventually and not let her get away, she's a good one" Luke said. "I promise...I just dont know how" Calum agreed. I took that as my cue to walk in and the boys were immediately silent. "Took you long enough" Luke complained as I handed the bowl to him.

We watched the movie and chatted in between, just messing around. But in the back of my head there were conflicted thoughts. On the one hand, I was wishing that it was me he was talking about but on the depressed side, I knew he wasn't talking about me. Why would he? He knows that I cut and he knows I tried to kill myself, why would he ever like me? And like always, I listened to the depression. It always wins. And it always will.

Once the movie was over, Luke was passed out on the couch. Calum went to the bathroom to change into his Pjs and I waited in the lounge awkwardly, paying a little too much attention to the pictures hanging on the walls. He came back with some sweatpants, a large tee and a hoodie for me to change into and I made my way to the bathroom, trying to not stare at Calum's bare chest. I came back and found him looking through my notebook that I'd left lying where we had worked on the project.

"You write beautifully..." Calum said when I joined him. "Oh God thayd embarrassing, no one was supposed to see that" I told him. "No, you write really well...These poems and songs...They're really beautiful Jessica" he said, closing the book and handing it to me.

"Thanks..." I said as I felt my cheeks turn red. No one was supposed to see that book except me. "I love writing, it's my way of expressing my emotions" I explained. Well that, and cutting. But Calum doesn't need to know that I still cut. There was silence.

"Wow it's really late" I said with a yawn as I looked at the clock and saw that it was 11pm. "Yeah, we should probably get some sleep..." Calum agreed. "Well goodnight Calum" I said with a smile. "Goodnight" he said.

Before I lay down I took off the hoodie Calum had given me. "Jessica!" Calum gasped. "What-" I said but stopped when I realized what was happening. My shirt had ridden up and the cuts on my stomach were showing. Shit.