In The End

Chapter two: Lost in Love.

"Today is the day of the trip" Jade reminded me on the phone! "I'll pick you up! Be ready, bye!" Feelings of nervousness, excitement and fear took over my body attacking me with a swarm of butterflies, tickling my stomach!

Suddenly I was questioning myself about what I should wear. I wanted to look classy but sexy. Not sexy as the girls that have no modesty whatsoever. I didn't want to give Chance that impression of me. I wore my black leggings, my white long sleeved top and my waistcoat. I tried on my mom's heels but that was me overdressing. Instead I put on my Converse. I admired myself in the mirror. You could see that I had an hourglass figure which I always hid with jumpers and tracksuit bottoms when I was feeling lazy. I straightened my wig. It looked longer than usual. I put make-up on my face. I felt so beautiful.

I was ready with an hour on my hands. My mom had left early for work so I decided to check my messages.

Chance Brady: “We're going to have so much fun today baby. Meet me by WHSmith around the corner from the church, yeah?”

After reading that, I ultimately felt dizzy. I fell to my knees and started praying for God to show me what to do and I told him that I was feeling scared just incase anything bad happened. Then, all of a sudden I heard a soothing voice from behind me “Don't worry, I'm here.” I turned around to see Jade standing at my bedroom door. “How did you get in?” I asked, nervously. “No time for questions, we're going to Essex baby!!” She answered, mimicking an Essex accent. I couldn't help but smile at my best friend.

Throughout the car journey to school, we were listening to a range of songs on her Ipod from Beyonce to Aerosmith. There was one song that stood out to me and made me think. Emeli Sande - Breaking the law. It made me think about me meeting up with Chance. “I'll never stop breaking the law for you, I'll never stop, helping to pull you through whatever it takes, to get what you need, ignore the alarms, ignore the police.” It made me realise how strong love is and how much I loved Chance. It didn't matter what my mom said, God said or anyone said. I love Chance. That's all that mattered!

The trip to London was very intense. I sat there nervously looking out the window, praying in my head. I needed to take my mind of him for now, somehow? I looked at Jade who was engrossed in her phone. I asked “Jade? Do you believe in God?” Do not ask me where that question came from, It was the first thing I thought of. “Yeah, kind of!” She answered, smiling. “Well, I'd like to hope that there is one. For the sake of my sister. She believed in God and stuff. She believed that she'd go to heaven and was forgiven. She was praying most of the time.. You reminded me of her this morning when you was on your knees.” A tear subtly rolled down her face. I comforted in in a warm, friendly hug. The sun shone through the window, and Jades eyes lightened and she was smiling.

“IS THAT BIG BEN?” She snuffled. “Wow, imagine if we drove past Justin Bieber? Let's do a celebrity count.” Her excitement filled the whole coach. Jade was certain that she would see Justin Bieber somewhere. She started counting all the famous faces she spotted. That's how I knew she'd be professional and looked up to in the media! She would have Justin Bieber begging to be interviewed.

I spotted WHSmith and started planning my route. Before I knew it we were at a massive, brown building. We were at the church! My teachers were doing a headcount of all the people that were hopping off the coach. I couldn't run, they would have noticed. If I wanted to do it, I'd have to sneak off.

Inside the church was beautiful. Stained glass windows told the story of Jesus' birth, death and his life on earth. They were so inspirational. Jade looked around, drawn in by the wonderful pictures around the church. In walked a priest with bible handouts and sheets of paper. “What do you instantly think when someone says that God loves you?” He asked. Silence filled the room. “I'd tell them to check themselves out for mental issues.” Darren answered. Instantly, I felt anger fill my heart. How rude! I thought. God does nothing but love and care and this is the appreciation he gets? Darren's comment got the whole class debating about God, Jesus and life and at the end of the debate half the class (including Darren) went from being against God to being for him.

The priest then handed out sheets of paper with questions about religion, everyone was engrossed in them. I decided that that was my time to go. I whispered to Jade “tell them I've gone to the toilet, see you later. I love you and text me!”

I ran. I ran until I couldn't pick my legs up off the ground any more. I stopped for a minute and checked my phone. “Sir's coming.” I read the text from Jade and ran some more, there in front of me stood the boy of my dreams. The brown eyes, the black hair, the wide smile. I was satisfied, I moved closer to give him a hug and I instantly collapsed in his arms.

I woke up in my bed. My mom looked so angry. I prayed that I had just overslept in my dream. It hit me that today wasn't a dream, today actually happened. “Mom?” I asked worriedly. “Why? All I do is try the best for you Crystal, what am I doing wrong? Why do you always disobey me?” She asked me all the questions I couldn't answer.

“Mom, you've got to trust me. I'm growing up now!” I replied.

“I do” my mom sighed. “I just want the best for you and I want you to be safe, you think running away is the best thing for you to do?”

“No mom, I'm sorry. It won't happen again.” I looked up to a women that was hurting. A women that was confused, lost, lonely and broken. A women that tries her best and a women that loved. “Can we pray together?” I asked.

I could feel the joy pass through the room when I said that, my mom's face instantly lit up and she was smiling. That night I spent talking and praying with my mom. She was back! She tucked me in and kissed me goodnight.

I woke up to the sounds of the birds singing my name! I was petrified at the thought of school today. The questions, the judgement, the rumors. I heard a voice say “do not fear!” The negative thoughts were exchanged for feelings of peace and I went to school smiling. Not smugly smiling as if I were boasting but smiling to say my mom's God is cool.

Jade didn't ask any questions, but when Jade isn't speaking she's staring and that is just what she was doing. Starting in disbelief that I had actually done it. “Crystal?” Mr Turner called, angrily. I turned rapidly to the sound of his voice. “Mr McDermott wants to see you in his office!” I could tell that that was the moment I'd have to face up to what I had done. Mr Turner had a smug look on his face like a child who had just got it's own way. I sighed and stood up, once again I was the focus of the whole classes attention.

I nervously paced down the corridor, praying for God to help me out. I went to knock the door and prepare myself when I heard my name boldy being called from the headteachers office. I stepped in, fixing my uniform and facing the floor.

“Take a seat Crystal.” Mr McDermott commanded. My heart beat quickened and I was panic struck. Then I remembered how this morning God told me not to fear. “Crystal, your mother has been worried about you.” He started. “You have gone against the school rules and I have no choice but to suspend you for a week!” I started welling up, how could I not worry. “However, Mr Turner, your mother and I agreed that you will go to Scotland with the local church youth group next week. There will be no phones, laptops or any other electronic devices allowed on the trip” I looked at him with feelings of hurt, confusion, betrayal, anger and depression overflowing my body. He continued. “Your trip will start on Saturday and end Sunday! If anything like this happens again, you will be excluded from Hopes Manner. Am I clear?” “Yes sir.” I answered. “Good, now go!”

I strolled back up the corridor, what about Chance? I won't get to speak to him at all! “God, why does this have to be my punishment? Why not a week at home. Why just a stupid trip with a stupid church?” I prayed. I had to be in hell for a week. My life was over. My mood couldn't even be lifted by Jade. One whole week!