Glad I Found You (BillDip)

Chapter 6~ Stupid Evil Heart

Dipper pov

I just told Bill Cipher I love him. I TOLD HIM THAT. I sat there with my arms around his waist as he played with my hair. It was weird. I hated my hair being touched. I hated my hair in general. It was always messy like a birds nest. But when he touched it, he made me feel relaxed. He made me feel like I was something.
"PineTree," said Bill.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks. For being someone I can love." I was confused, yet flattered. I wasnt anything special, I was just plain ol' Dippy. I was still confused why Bill even chose me.
"I chose you, PineTree, because you are special. Youre perfect. Youre the most important thing in the world to me right now. Youre great, and Im nothing but just an evil demon. For as useless as humans are, I would die to be one. I was created to be evil and thats not what I asked for. And its all because of my fucking stupid evil heart." He said with a tone of sadness mixed with frustration. I didnt know he thought about things like that.
"Bill, what are you talking about? You cant be evil. You may be a little sarcastic or snarky once and a while, but that doesnt make you bad."
"Let me tell you a story, kid. I used to have all the power. I could do anything. But I wasted all of my power before I knew it was too late. This happened a few weeks ago when I was in battle with another demon."
Ah. Thats why he had all of those scratches.
"Yes. Thats why I was wounded. I can only do magic for show or protection now. I may be weak but Im still more powerful than all human. Now listen closely," he said quietly and I nodded my head.
"This is extremely important. You might get mad at me but keep in mind now that I know you trust me and Ive changed. The answer is yes, I did have an interest in starting an apocalypse. I tried it once or twice, yet I failed. Hence why people freak out when they see me, which is why I have this human form that I created when I saw you in the woods. I dont understand how they knew who I was, but they did."
I was looking for words. I couldnt believe he tried to start an apocalypse.
"Why would you do that!? Its not in the journal!! Why isnt it in the journal!?" I said, more angrily than I intended to. I didnt mean to shout.
By now he had tears in his eyes.
"I... Im sorry. Im so stupid!" He yelled, burying his head in his hands. By now I knew that Bill wasnt the crying type. This was a rare moment for him. I put my hand on his back, comforting him.
"Tell me why.. you did it." I said slowly.
"I was angry, ok?! I was angry at the world and everyone in it! Everyone should have died!!"
I was once again at a loss for words.
"Come on, man, calm down!!" Was all I could say. He was trying not to look at me. He didnt want me to see him in this state. He was clearly angry at himself. I wanted to make him feel better.
"I.. Ill get you some water." I said leaving.

Bill pov

After PineTree left, I got up to look in the mirror.
"Great, I look stupid, dont I?" I whispered not knowing who I was talking to and fixing my hair. When PineTree came back with my drink, I was dabbing under my eyes. I havent cried in at least 246 years.
"Thanks, kid." I said.
"Youre welcome. Say, you dont seem like the crying type. Whats up?"
I honestly didnt know what was up.
"Nothing.. I guess I forgot the sensation there is when you get sad. It fucking hurts, dude." Sadness was the most painful emotion.
"Look, I know you regret what you tried to do. I know. But its over. Forget about it. Even if Im a bit mad at you, doesnt mean you should be mad at yourself. You made a mistake and thats ok. Everyone makes mistakes."
That wasnt true. I never made mistakes.
"I dont make mistakes, dude." I said because it was totally true.
"What about when you wasted all of your power?" Maybe I stand corrected.
"Well... That doesnt count! I didnt know that I would lose my power!"
"But you should have." He was right. I definitely stand corrected.
"Dont you people have limited power? Like, if your heart shuts down you lose power?"
"Close, we actually aren't immortal and so in result of our hearts shutting down, we die." He said. That I had never heard before. Being a human sounds so scary.
"I thought someone had to kill you to die. Well, arent you afraid of dying?"
"Well, no. Everyone dies at one point, and you just have to think that if everyone else dies then you will too. You have to get your mind to think that when you die, it will be meant to happen. Everyone dies for one reason or another, and people die in different ways."
"But PineTree, I dont want you to die."
"Believe me, if I could keep everything the way it is right now I would, but its not really like I have a choice."
"Gee, the human life is fucked up."
"Yeah it is but thats just how it is." He said. I didnt like this.
"Well do me a favor, Dipper. stay alive as long as possible. I want to keep you forever."
"Well this is only the beginning." He said. He spoke like what could only be compared to honey, or red velvet.

*another fuckin time skip*

We talked for what seemed like hours. It was great. We watched a movie, and Dipper fell asleep in my arms. I couldnt teleport, and flying would wake him up so I had to carry him up to his room like a normal person. He was pretty light. I put him in his bed and tucked him in, careful not to wake him. I pulled a chair up next to him so I could talk to him. Although I knew he couldnt hear me.
"Hey, PineTree, do you ever feel tired? Like, tired of running from everything? Tired of life? I feel like that right now. It hurts. Having everyone and everything against you, all because of one little mistake. Sometimes, having all the power makes you do stupid things. I wish I could change. I wish more than anything. Im so sorry, PineTree. Its too late for me to change. I hate having evil in my nature. Its not fair. I hate being immortal. I hate being alive, and I hate not being able to end it. It may seem amazing, but its not. I would know. Im not that great, I may be immortal, but I was made to be evil. Thats not what I asked for. I never should have tried to start an apocalypse. And the worst part is that I cant change. Im evil, and Im not proud of that. I hate being the bad guy. I hate not being normal. I may have more power than any human, but I would give up my power to be good. PineTree, you taught me that in the future I would regret everything. The future is now. I wish I was good." I said, not realizing how loud I was being. I then felt a pair of arms wrapped around me into a warm hug. I guess he did hear me. I hugged him back.
"S..sorry, did I wake you..?" I said, hoping I didnt.
"I heard it all. And its not true."
"I think its true."
"But its not. Youre better than what you give yourself credit for."
"You really think that?"
"Of course I do."

A/N
And then they made out.

That thing that Bill said to Dipper in his sleep I wrote and Im amazing
Jk its not that good

This is a longer chapter. I wrote it in class. Yay.