Hey,
It's been a while. I take my time to write. Most of the time I've got no idea of what to write or I simply don't feel like writing. But I'm trying my best to write whenever I feel inspired, so here it goes. It's super short but I hope you like it. Aaaand I don't know when I will update again so, please, be patient with me.
Also, one of the paragraphs is not mine. And I will say it myself so nobody thinks that I'm stealing from someone else. It is the one where G talks about the world stopping. It is a paragraph from the book A Million Little Pieces from James Frey. I just saw it and thought it was super beautiful and that it fitted perfectly there and had to use it. So, yeah, I don't own anything of what James Frey has written.
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HANNAH'S/GERARD'S P.O.V.
"And I... I had this insane idea that you and I could be together." Gerard laugh sadly.
Hannah lost track of time. She had so many thoughts running through her head right in that moment... It was the first time someone had said something like that to her. Nobody had ever treated her like she was the most important person in the planet. But it was that what scared her. She didn't know how to love. She was scared of getting too close with somebody, because then they would leave and she would be alone again.
She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again.
It was raining even heavier, if possible. Now she could barely see him and they were a meter away from each other.
"Hannah... it's okay. I understand, I won't disturb you anymore... I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."
Gerard looked down at his hands and awkwardly scratched his hair before turning around.
"No! No..."
Gerard turned around and looked at her.
"You don't understand." She shook her head and tried to hold back the tears.
"What don't I understand, Hannah?" He asked, getting closer and slightly touching her hand.
Hannah looked down at his hand, his fingers slowly intertwining with hers.
"I can't take a chance that I'm wrong with you."
"Every time I let somebody get close to me, then I have to try and put the pieces back together".
She stepped back and let go of his hand.
"I can't take a chance that I'm wrong with you." She repeated as she denied with her head.
"I'm not like everybody else, Hannah. Hey, listen to me."
He came closer and cupped her face between his hands.
"Listen to me, please. I'm afraid too, okay? I've been rejected by everybody in this town for no apparent reason. Nobody talks to me if I don't have something they are interested in. Until you came, I only had Frank. Like you, you only had your sister, right? But it could be different. We could have each other. You just have to trust me. Because I know I can trust you."
She looked him in the eyes.
"How can you be so sure about me?"
Gerard smirked sadly.
"You know, I've always lived my life terrified of what I'd be, of what I would do to myself. I would always try to shut the voices in my head. Those voices that told me I was nothing. With the years, they got even louder. How am I so sure about you?, you ask. Because you've stopped the noise."
"When I see you, the world stops. It stops and all that exists for me is you. There's nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. It just stops and it is a beautiful place and there is only you. Just you. But, when you're gone, the world starts again, and I don't like it as much. I can live in it, but I don't like it. I just walk around and wait to see you again and wait for it to stop again. I love it when it stops. It's the best fucking thing I've ever felt."
Hannah was crying. She let the tears roll down her cheeks as she came closer and kissed him. Gerard pulled her closer, if possible. They shared a kiss full of meaning. Hannah was placing all her trust in him.
She let the walls fall once again. And she hoped it was the last time she would have to do it.
