Bombs & Bullets | Cricky [C]

66 | Warning

| Chris' POV |

Ricky really hadn't improved whatsoever. I took him to the urgent care clinic because he needs to get better. This has been going on long enough that it could be something serious. While we sat in the waiting room, he rested in my arms. Ricky fell asleep against my chest up until I had to wake him when it was time to see the doctor.

He was so sleepy that I carried him towards the room they brought us to. We sat down on the stiff bed and he snuggled into me more. The doctor came in a few minutes later. Ricky could barely keep himself awake.

"My name is Dr. Winter." He introduced himself as he sat down.

"Chris, and this is my fiance Ricky. He's really tired, and not feeling well enough to speak much." I informed him.

"I see." He replied, "That's alright. Can you tell me what the problem is?"

"For a few weeks down he's had terrible pains right at the top of his stomach. It got better when he was on major bed rest, but he's gotten worse again. It hurts him when he eats, breathes too heavily, laughs, cries, really anything to be honest. He told me eating is the worst."

"Does he smoke?"

I snit, "Yeah. Half a pack a day. It's... something caused by his smoking?"

"Possibly. That area is... Delicate. It could be as simple as an ulcer, or it could be as complex as cancer. I'd like to schedule a scope. It's a fairly simple procedure-"

"I'm familiar with it." I muttered, "My grandfather had a few."

"Ah, alright. Well hopefully we can get that scope done before Christmas, so we can have him back on his feet. See the receptionist on the way out and she'll get you set up with prep."

The doctor stood up and began to walk out of the room. Once he was gone, I wrapped my arms around Ricky and carried him as far as I could. When we got to the front desk, I set him down on his feet to talk with her. We got the appointment set up, then began to walk out. Ricky was so tired and all the poor thing has done is sleep.

"He said cancer." Ricky mumbled.

"He said it could be, not that it is." I spoke words that we to comfort me as much as him. Ricky's right; he did say cancer.

"But it could be, that's the point. People get cancer from smoking a lot. I could be one of those people easily. What if-"

"What have I told you about 'what if's?" I asked.

He sighed, "That they normally don't come true and I'm overreacting."

"I only say that because I love you. Time will tell, okay? Even if it is cancer, we'll get through it together." I reassured him.

I knelt to his height and placed a kiss on his numb lips. Ricky was drained of life. I wish so badly that I could do something, anything, to end his suffering. Why does it have to be him? Why couldn't it have been me that took this on? I could handle it. Ricky, he can't. He's physically spent.

~

Once we got home, I text Devin was was going on. Then I made Ricky some wild rice soup, but he didn't touch it. All he wanted was me. I'm okay with that. I laid on my back on the bed and he clung to my side.

"I love you more than anything and I'm not letting a damn thing happen to you. I hope you know that." I reassured him.

"I feel so safe with you watching over me." Ricky squeezed me. "I love you too. I'm never letting go."