Bombs & Bullets | Cricky [C]

30 | Scared

| Ricky's POV |

Suddenly a panic of "get out" washed over me. One I haven't felt since Jani. Maybe I was overreacting but I just couldn't breathe right now. I pushed the cat off my chest and tried to get up. That only resulted in me falling off the couch because I have such shitty coordination.

Chris rushed in the room. He knelt down and I shook when he touched me. "Baby," He slightly gasped. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I murmured.

That was all I could really manage to say. He helped me sit back up, and I rested myself against him. I did still love him...

"I'm worried about you. You've been a little more clumsier than normal." Chris said as he brushed my hair out of my face.

"I've just been tired." I mumbled.

"Let's get you to bed then, Sweetheart." He suggested.

"I don't want to move."

Chris chucked that sexy laugh. Fuck even if he's doing something bad, I find it impossible to stay mad at him. "I'll carry you." He picked me up in his arms. This felt so right, even if it could be wrong somehow.

~2 Weeks Later~

What I heard Chris say all those things on the phone, I was honestly mostly scared. I thought this was perfect. Maybe it isn't. Maybe it still is, I don't know.

We flew out to LA to visit Devin and Shiloh, and take a break from the cold weather. I've still had yet to say anything to Chris. Again, I was scared. Maybe I'll talk to Devin, when I can get him alone. Fuck he has enough problems of his own! I can't go to him right now. I guess I gotta deal with this, myself. But how? This is so complicated.

To make matters worse, Chris left the hotel this morning. He said he was going to spend time with Ashley and Bella. I don't even know what to believe anymore. There was a picture that went up on Instagram of them, but how do I know it's not Ashley he's seeing? You know, if he is messing around. Or whomever it was could have been with them... Fuck if I know.

I heard him open the hotel room door. Chris walked in, and smiled the instant his eyes landed on me. "Hey Baby."

"Hey." I softly replied. "How was your day?"

"I was good," He sighed as he sat down next to me on the bed. "I wish you could have come, but I knew you needed your rest. I hope you rested up enough."

"Why's that?" I asked.

He moved in closer to me, with something in his hands. "I got you this why we were out." It was a necklace. Chris secured it around my neck. "You like it?"

"It's beautiful." I smiled. He did treat me so well, but then again, over gifting can be a sign of a cheater...

"You like it enough to make it the only thing you're wearing?" He whispered seductively as his hand traced my jawline.

"Mmhm." I accidentally let slip to the feeling of him kissing my neck.

Chris slowly pushed up my shirt as he ran his hand up my body. I'd hate to admit I was getting turned on when I was supposed to be mad at him. He got my shirt off and pushed me on my back, getting on top of me. Our lips met, and turned into a French kiss. Fuck he tasted good.

He grabbed my wrist and placed my hand upon his chest. Then reality set in, and I pushed him back. I gasped for air after our intense make out, and he stared at me in shock.

"Is everything okay, Baby?" Chris asked sweetly.

"No, no it's not." I admitted. I took a hard swallow. "Chris, are you- uh, um, is-" I sighed at a loss for words.

He got off of me and sat up straight in the bed, as did I. "Ricky, you know you can tell me anything."

I pulled my knees up to my chest for comfort, and looked away. "You know, that night I fell off the couch?"

"Yeah..."

"I heard you on the phone. Whatever you were talking about, you said something like 'I can't talk about that right now, I don't want Ricky to hear' and whomever it was you told them you missed them. Chris, are you... are you cheating on me?" I choked out.

He was taken back, but not in a guilty way. "Baby, no." Chris moved closer to me and put his arm around my waist. "I was talking to Devin. And, he asked me how you were dealing because Jani's birthday is coming up. I didn't want you to hear because I didn't want to remind you of it."

"What about when you said you were ready to move on, but you didn't know how I'd react?"

"Oh..." oh no... "Ricky, I um, I guess this ruins things but, I meant move forward. I want to get engaged, but I'm not sure if you want that."

"You... you love me that much?" I muttered with eyes wide as a deer in headlights. Fuck I really messed up this time.

"Of course I do." Chris smiled. "I love you more than anything in the world."

"Probably not now, now that I've accused you of cheating and leaving me."

"It's my fault for being so secretive. I do truly love you, Ricky, and I would never hurt you. If anyone else ever tries to, I'll kill them." Chris pulled me in closer.

I smiled and thought of what a dumbass I was for ever thinking these thoughts. Then I glanced back up at my amazing boyfriend and smirked. "Now about getting these clothes off..."