Memoirs of a discontented teen

Chapter 6

I was mad calm and speechless. I know that Malia is a hoe. I mean ever since she broke up with Nate she's been passed around a lot and it's apparent to everyone but her. I've tried telling her to chill it but she thinks she's empowering herself like Amber Rose or something.

She has been careful in her sexcapades, always using protection and being safe. That's why I'm really shocked that she would let Nate hit it raw after everything he put her through. All the lying and  the cheating. Why would she take him back after all that? I'm such a hypocrite.

"Why are you a hypocrite?", Malia asked. Shit did I say that last part out loud?

"Never mind", I said. "Did he at least pull out?", I asked sternly.

"I can't remember, I-I-I don't think so. We went into his room, it was just the two of us and he convinced me to go raw-"

"No just stop there because that is some bullshit." I interrupted raising my left hand infront of her face. "Like what in the actually fuck Malia?" I asked. "You're not together, you're not on birth control and you're letting Nate hit it raw? Nate, Nate of all people with his dusty ass!"

"He's not dusty! Fuck Victoria!", she retorted. She looked like she was about to cry but I continued.

"No he is and you probably have an STI now congratu-fucking-lations. 'Convinced' seriously? you let a guy sway you into shit like that. I'm sorry I can't listen to the rest of your story and relate because I'm not stupid! You need to get yourself checked! And I mean that literally and figuratively."

I got up and left the room before she started crying. I didn't mean to go off on her like that. But I don't want her to fall further into the rabbit hole that is giving random guys blowjobs in the backseat of a car and now letting guys like Nate hit it raw. I know I could've handled it better, I don't know what came over me. Feel like shit.

Later that morning we all went to the Joséphine Baker swimming pool & solarium. The place was nice it had a cafe, a gym, hammam, sauna and a solarium for those sophisticated suntans. There weren't a lot of people there, I noticed a group of guys who looked glorious with their ripped bodies in beach shorts. Its nice being single again I thought to myself with a smile.

I noticed the mean girls (Alexa, Jordan and Elena) whispering when I walked past. Not because I was walking with Asia in her ridiculous swimsuit ( I swear she's fairly certain that life is a fashion show) but because the rumours of Jaheem and I having sex were spreading like wildfire. I haven't spoken to him since last night and I doubt he's defending my honour and telling people that the rumours aren't true. He's probably loving every moment of this but that's the least of my concerns right now.

Malia is beyond mad at me, I can't blame her though I just have to give her some space and hopefully she'll let me apologize and we can be cool again.

After about an hour and a half of swimming I decided to head for the showers. The showers were empty, I took a quick one and just when I was about done getting ready to leave I heard the door click open and shut after a few seconds. I thought it was just one of the girls so I continued gathering my things. And then I felt somebody press their body against my back and wrap their hands around my waist. He grinned as I turned around.

"Oh my gosh! Darnell don't creep up on me like that.", I said before punching his chest. "What are you even doing here, this is the ladies room." I blurted out.

"Ouch that hurt", he said pouting.

"Stop playing I didn't even hit you hard."

"I'm telling you it'll leave a bruise."

"Oh please." I said rolling my eyes at him.

"You wanna see?", he teased.

Before I could answer he started to lift his shirt up revealing his perfectly chiseled abs and sharp V line. I gave him a raised eyebrow and all I could think was WOW!

"Right there." he said guiding my hand to the spot where I punched him, "That's where you'll leave a mark.", he finished with a smirk. The moment was so intoxicating. My hand was on his bare chest, I watched it heaving up and down with every breath he took. It felt like I was following a script to a very cheesy romantic movie but it was happening to me! This can't be right. Is this how close he normally stands next to me? How long do I have to keep my hand there for? Am I applying the right amount if pressure? I was starting to get weak to his pursuits. I couldn't get words to form in my mouth. When did all this get so damn complicated!

When I opened my mouth to speak I heard the door click open again and Darnell took a step back leaving me in a trance wanting more. I threw my head back in exasperation.

It was Alexa who walked in this time. Without even thinking I just grabbed my things and walked out giving Alexa a mean mug on my way out. Ever since I found out that she kissed Jaheem you could say that I have been rude to her, advertently.

On the coach ride to the hotel I sat with Carlos and told him everything that went down between Malia and I in the morning. He began to speak but my mind wandered off when I caught a glimpse of Darnell who was seated besides the window 2 rows infront of me.

Why was my mind punking me like this? Why is it that I never noticed how fine Darnell looked in this light! And why is he so interested in me all of a sudden? -Oh shit! Is is because of the rumours? I thought. No, no he started acting different before the rumours started. Now I feel like every interaction I've ever had with him needs to be reconsidered. Maybe I missed something and there was some hidden meaning behind all our conversations.

Today he made it abundantly clear that I was his for the taking. He wasn't desperate or a fuck boy, he was just ... available. I know my feelings can be really inconsistent but he's saying all the right things. Kinda. And he's doing all the right things. Kinda.

What I know for sure is that I am sick and tired of rejection. I just want to be chased, pursued, to feel wanted. And I can't get that if I blurted out to Darnell that I have a crush on him. And this crush is not solely based on looks but personality as well. He's kind, intelligent and really funny but after Jaheem I now know enough about the pitfalls of dating your crush so I'm deciding to leave a little mystery between Darnell and I (Not that I'm already thinking of a relationship with him, I'm not crazy!).

"Did you even hear a word I said.", Carlos asked snapping his fingers at me.

"No, sorry I zoned out.", I said turning to face him, "But I bet it was great advice." I said with a smile.

*Photo of Malia in the chapter*