Undercover in Progress

Police Gatherings and Second Meetings

Chapter 5 – Police Gatherings and Second Meetings

I woke up screaming and crying uncontrollably. The night terrors had been worse, much worse, worse than even last year, on the 10th anniversary of her death.

I tried to calm myself down but it wasn’t working, I could still feel the terror of the dream clinging to me and the start of the utter sadness that always seemed to follow.

My bedroom door flew open and I looked up through tear filled eyes to see it was Sarah. She saw the state I was in and rushed over, Mark following closely behind. She sat next to me and opened her arms, saying nothing. I flung myself into her arms gratefully and buried my face into her shoulder, crying freely. I felt Mark sit down on my other side and started rubbing my back soothingly.

I hadn’t meant to wake them up. I didn’t like them seeing me like this but I was so thankful that they were here. Just their presence helped push back some of the terror.

I’m not sure how long I stayed like that before the terror of the nightmare finally lessened to the point that I was able to calm down enough to stop crying and get my breathing back under control. I was still shaken up from the memories but I was now at least able to think straight.

I pulled back from Sarah and wiped my eyes. Mark handed me a handful of tissues that I gratefully accepted and used. When I had finished I saw the clock on my desk which told me it had only been two hours since we’d all gone to bed after watching the film. I turned back to Sarah to apologise and noticed the mess I’d made of her pyjama top. “I’m sorry.” My voice came out rough, scratchy and barely audible so I cleared my throat and repeated my apology. Too embarrassed to look at either of them, I settled for looking down at my hands as I fiddled with the tissues Mark had given me.

“Don’t apologise sweetie, we understand.” Sarah admonished softly, wrapping a comforting arm around my shoulders.

“Do you want me to get you one of your sleeping tablets?” Mark offered from the other side of me.

“No!” I cried, then repeated calmer. “No. I’m just going to read for a bit.” Mark nodded sympathetically, not pushing the point. The sleeping tablets had worked at first, letting me sleep peacefully without dreaming but ever since last year all they’d done was trap me in the nightmares, forcing me to relive things I’d rather forget.

“We’re just down the hall if you need us.” Sarah told me, getting up reluctantly.

I nodded. “Thanks. I’m fine now.” I reassured them.

Mark ruffled my hair. “Try to get some sleep.” He told me before leading Sarah out of my room and closing my door.

I popped to the bathroom to sort myself out and splashed water over my face and eyes, hoping it would reduce their puffiness. Then I headed back to my room, picking up the book I had started reading earlier by Shelly Crane and settled back onto my bed to read it.

It definitely helped take my mind off my nightmares and I’d even begun to relax but I knew that was as close to sleep as I was going to get tonight. After a couple more chapters I got out of bed and decided to work on the report of the mission last night for Harry. It was definitely going to make for an interesting read.

Once I’d finished I looked at the clock and saw that it was only five. I looked at my bed but knew it was pointless to try to sleep so I decided to just have a shower and get ready for the day.

It didn’t take me long. I was downstairs eating cereal by half five. I sighed to myself, trying to think what had made my nightmares so much worse. I knew the cause this time; I’d had a flashback in Victor’s apartment after Harry told us Victor had arrived back early. I guess it could be because it was getting close to her birthday but that alone didn’t seem like reason enough, I just couldn’t figure what else it could’ve been.