*Listen to the song while reading*
Hopes POV.
BOOM! Oh no! The doors, they are about to close.
My legs, burned and ached.
My heart, pounding and unsteady.
My breathing, loud and frequent.
My mind, a mess and dangerous, like the maze.
I skidded around the corner of the dark maze, the whirring and clicking sounds far behind me. I finally lost the griever, but now I might be stuck in here.
I ran straight ahead and saw the doors closing everyone second inch by inch. I can make it, I pushed my feet to move faster. Just one more step and I'll be safe from the maze.I leaped out and landed on the ground with a soft thud while the maze doors closed with a loud bang!
I laid on the grass for a few more seconds until I started to hear cheering, at first I thought someone would of waited for me, to be happy to know I was safe but it was too far away for it to be for me.
I glanced around and saw on the other side of the glade everyone cheering for Minhos return. That he made it back alive, I was alive to but no body celebrated.
Of course they wouldn't, they wouldn't care if I didn't come back, no one would. I shuffled over into the woods and go into the Map room like always.
I have been doing this ever since I've arrived in the glade two years ago. I need a release. I will get it soon enough. Without any energy I pushed open the door only to have another runner push me out of the way so they could get in first. I wasn't important to them.
It was driving me insane, all the bad thoughts that crept into my mind day and night like a black claw trying to drag me into a pit of sadness, darkness and depression.
I felt like I was already there, I dragged myself there. I sight deeply andwalked into the room. I took off my backpack and placed it in my spot and took out my notes.
I scribbled down everything I saw today and everything else I was taught to do. After only 5 minutes I was done. Thank god!
"I didn't even notice you came back from the maze, what a shame, you should of stayed out there!" sneered the runner known as Kyle.
I gave a fake smile and pretended as if the comment was brushed off. I walked away from him until he couldn't see my face. That's when the smile disappeared and the frown appeared on my face.With my head hung low I quickly jogged over to my small room that was built for me, the only pleasure of being a girl in the glade.
In the room was a small bed with one shelf. That's all I've needed. I grabbed a set of clean clothes and my shower bag.
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤Time skip¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
The hot water sprinkled onto my sore skin and as soon as it hit my thighs I winced in pain and held in a screech. The pain soon died down.The fresh cuts on my bare thigh was mocking me, they reminded me of every tear, every mistake, every lose, every time I lost the battle with myself.
I was all alone in the showers so I did what I always did, I let it all out . The tears I've held in all day, they rolled down my face while I tried to stay quiet.
I sunk down to the bathroom floor and cried. I hated being the only girl, two years ago I was sent up in the box that sentenced me to my hell life.
A note came up with me.
Never lose hope.
That's what the note said no one knew it it meant me because that's my name or the thing people were losing I hated my name it held no meaning to me, I had no hope. I was going to die here. There is no way out.
The depression came 1 year ago then came the self harm then my eating disorder. I was a mess, no one could clean me up.
I hate this place.
I hate myself.
I hate being alive.
I grabbed my shower bag and grabbed the thing that has been my only friend. Blades. Without any hesitation I swiped it across my thighs again and again until there was another 20 cuts.
They were all bleeding, the blood rushed down my leg. A few of the cuts were really deep but I knew I would live...sadly.
After only 20 minutes I had washed my running clothes in the shower and hung them over the shower to dry, washed my long brown wavy hair and the bleeding stopped.
I looked down at my hideous body, but quickly looker away not wanting to see how badly I ruined it. It's been over 2 weeks since I last ate and I wasextremely skinny but no one noticed because of my lose clothes.
No one sees the tears.
No one hears my cries.
No one feels my pain.No one understands.
I quickly got dressed in black sweat pants and an oversized jumper. I packed up my stuff and went outside. The cold air hit me and it was now night time.
I rushed to my room and was soon alone in bed. I laid down looking at nothing and didn't bother to hide the tears. I could hear everyone at dinner laughing, oh how I wish I could laugh.
I envied them all. They all had friends, something to live for, they all belonged. I had nothing, no one. I cuddled myself and cried into my knees. Just like every other night the thoughts crawled inside my mind.
Kill yourself
They don't care
They never noticed you.
Everyone hates you
I know you want to
The voices were right, I wanted to, I so badly wanted to die, I didn't want to pretend to be OK anymore. When this all forts started I could of been saved, Newt the boy I've loved for years never noticed me.
He could of helped but he ignored me like everyone else. The tears soon vanished because I ran dry of them and knew what I was going to do. I didn't want to live another day in the glade, so I wasn't going to.
¤¤¤¤¤¤Chapter 1 done¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
Here is the first chapter what do you think?
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Broken Hope (Newt fanfic)
FanfictionNever lose Hope. That's what the note said when the next greenie came up. Her name was...Hope. No one knew if it meant the only girl in the glade or the thing that people were losing. Hope, she has been in the glade for 2 years, she is a runner that...
