Heart of a SIN - FMA Envy Fanfic [Edited]

Chapter 17 - Comfort

Envy had lived with this feeling for 200 years though. How he had endures such torment all this time was beyond me.

"Arisa, you b****, what do you think you're doing?! Get off-"

"I know what it's like," I interrupted, my voice barely above a whisper. There was uncertainty in my tone, the fear to confess what I truly felt hitting me hard. And despite the painfully tight way Envy was holding my shoulders and sure to make them sore, I couldn't let go of him.

"What?!" he hissed, his lips right next to my ear.

"I know what it's like to be betrayed by the one you trust." He tensed at what I said and I tightened my arms around him. "I know what it feels like to trust someone and be betrayed. That's why I never want anyone to feel that way because of me. Because I know how much it hurts. I'm sorry for all that you've had to put up with until now."

Embarrassment washed over me at how I had let my emotions take over suddenly, enough to make my eyes water more. Ever since I had been thrown away, I had never let anyone see me cry. I had never let anyone see even the smallest hint of all the anger and hurt I truly had in my heart, not even Keith or Oba-san. The only thing I let anyone see was a confident undercover agent, a confident sixteen year old girl living life like every other child blessed with a happy family. But the truth was far from that.

With a deep breath, I relaxed my tense muscles and let go of Envy to lower myself on the train's floor and rest my cramping torso. I lowered my hands to the sides of my head as well and met Envy's eyes that were wide in shock. He was no longer holding my shoulders – his hands were on either side of my head and his legs straddling my hips.

My turbulent emotions had settled, ensuring that Envy did not see that the façade I had built perfectly over the years had nearly crumbled. I was the type to show that I did not give a shit about anyone and anything, and instead, just laughed amused in the face of danger.

"You," he spoke airily after a moment in silent shock, "you've been betrayed? By whom? When and how?"

With a sigh, I turned my head to the side. My head was throbbing slightly now – suppressing feelings with this much effort was something I hadn't done for a long time. I had forced myself to become as hard as a diamond, not letting anything leave the tiniest scratch and shimmering brightly to show how awesome I was. I had almost let that image shatter and having to suppress the hesitance so hard wasn't easy.

"It happened a long time ago. It's a long story that I don't like talking about. Besides, I doubt anyone would believe what I would say about it anyway."

"I might." Envy's words had me meet his eyes while raising a brow. Having my attention now, he continued, "I probably would believe you even if you said you're from the other side of the Gate."

He had relaxed too, seeming to have returned to his normal self.

"Other side of the Gate? What does that mean?" I questioned, not quite sure of what he meant by that.

He raised a brow this time. He hadn't moved off of me and I really hadn't bothered to push him off either. It didn't matter at the moment because neither of us seemed uncomfortable around each other anymore, or in this rather oddly intimate position.

"You don't know about the Gate? Seriously?" he questioned in amuse.

I shrugged, feeling the atmosphere relax more by the moment. "I've never heard of it. But I wouldn't mind if you enlightened me about the so called Gate."

My playful smile made him chuckle. Shaking his head, he said, "You're really weird for a human."

"I can take that as a compliment, right?" I mused, my smile widening.