leather journal / h.s

51

M A R Y

snow fell christmas morning, and it was almost a perfect scene to see my whole family eating the traditional plate of pancakes. but this year, it was with harry.

"how did you guys like having penny over last night?" dad asked suddenly, making my cheeks redden. my mind floated back to the previous night, and i couldn't help but smile. harry really did love me. and he did prove it. it had to be the best night of my life.

i glanced over at harry and he looked almost as flustered as i did. he must've seen because he cleared his throat quickly. "it was nice. penny had to leave very early, though."

mom frowned. "is that right? what did the two of you do after, then?"

my stomach churned. suddenly, those pancakes didn't like quite as appetizing as they had a second ago.

but again, harry jumped into to save the day. "we played scrabble, as always miss miller!" he laughed and thankfully everyone laughed with him. but i just couldn't help but think of what really happened.

we laid next to each other on the couch, exhausted and ready for sleep. but we knew that we had to wash up first. hygiene was a must when it came to the two of us. it always had been.

"aww." harry said out of the blue, looking up at the ceiling. i glanced over at him, only to see that he had slipped his boxers back on. though, his hair was still a mess.

i roped my hand through my hair. "what's the matter?"

he shrugged. "now i can't call you the virgin mary. i was starting to enjoy calling you that."

my heart warned at his words. he was so cute. "okay, then how about you call me mary in the manger?"

harry shook his head quickly. "no, no, no." he protested. "that's louis' name for you. plus, it's historically incorrect. i don't like it."

i didn't know what to say at this point, even though he was right. couldn't he live without calling me something other than my name? why was a nickname so important?

"ill think of something." he said calmly before intertwining our hands.

there was a long silence, but it was comforting. i could feel both of us drifting off to sleep with each passing minute.

"harry?" i called into the darkness.

"yes, mary?"

"was that your first, too?"

there was a pause. "yeah."

i smiled. that made me feel pretty special. im sure that's how harry had felt, too. "well." i clicked my teeth and smiled into the darkness. "you were good at it. really good."

"you too." he chuckled. "except for the part where you cried and i had to get you some tissues. it kind of, interrupted the whole thing."

i laughed and slapped his arm. "it was an emotional time for me! after all, i did sign one of those abstinence pledges."

harry laughed.

"but since you haven't had sex before, im sure that you haven't given me a sexually transmitted disease or anything."

now it was harrys turn to hit me. "you're such a dork!"

i slapped him back. "no, you are!"

"okay, okay." he gave in quickly. "we're both dorks."

"harry?"

"yes, mary?"

"i love you."

"i love you, too. a lot more."

"did you hear me, mary?" i heard harrys voice say. i snapped out of my reminiscing, only to see that my parents and little brother had left the room and it was just harry and i. "i said that i love you."

even though i was a bit confused, i grinned and held his hand. his warmth was comforting. "i love you too. a lot more."

he pouted his lips. "stop copying me!"

"im not." i smiled.

"uh huh." he retaliated, sounding like a little child. "i said that last night."

oh. yeah, he did.

"anyway, it's christmas and i think you should open your gift now!" he chimed, already dragging me over to the christmas tree. he handed me a gift with pink wrapping that said, "from h". it was pretty.

"give me a hint!" i said, laughing. he just shook his head and pointed to the gift.

"open." he commanded, and it was kind of hot.

"fine." i smiled and tore at the wrapping, to which harry grabbed my arm and stopped me.

he looked at me with wide eyes. "careful. you'll tear the leather."

"oh my god!" fake tears started to form in my eyes. i stopped my opening of the present just to screw with harry. he smiled from ear to ear at my reaction. "you got me a cow for christmas?"

he smacked his forehead and pointed to the present again. "open it, or i will pounce on you."

i took that as a threat and carefully tore off the wrapping, only to reveal a leather journal that had a light shade of blue to it.

"you knew that my favorite color was blue!" i cried, and the tears were sort of real this time. tears of happiness. "screw the gender roles, am i right?"

"you're right!" he laughed, pulling at the material of his blouse that i had watched him buy from some rich lady store. the stares that we had gotten were hilarious. but he looked good in it.

"thank you." i sobbed into his embrace, crying into his shoulder. "god, i don't deserve you."

"no, i don't deserve you, mary." i could hear him choking on his words. "you're so pretty and sweet and kind and fuck-- god, i really do love you."

"and i really do love you." i giggled through the tears. "a lot, lot more."