leather journal / h.s

38

M A R Y

"okay, maybe making out with you while you sat on top of your kitchen cabinet was a bad idea." he said shamefully, helping me down once he saw that jett had witnessed our steamy kiss.

my eyes widened, thinking of all the possible things he could do with that information. if i knew anything, it was that jett was the best at blackmailing. he had a million things on me as we spoke, and every time i aggravated him he threatened to unleash the secrets to our parents.

i was worried what he would do knowing that harry and i were getting serious.

"maybe we should take the cake up to your room." harry said cooly, like we hadn't just been caught by my little brother. "plus i want to read some things from my journal to you. the things that mean a lot to me that i want you to know."

a shiver went down my spine. now that i think about it, i hadn't been paying that journal laying under my bed any mind. i had only remembered it since harry brought it up. crazy, the things he can do to you; making you forget the reason you were where you are now.

"okay." i said plainly, grabbing our plates and plastic ware. harry grabbed the cake and held it with two large hands, following me up the stairs to my room where i locked the door behind us.

"are you still hungry?" he asked teasingly, but i just grinned and cut myself another slice. that must've been a good enough answer to his question. to hell i was.

before i started eating, i decided to be honest and crouched down under my bed. my fingers found the familiar, smooth leather material and pulled it out from under the bed, holding it up for harry to see.

"you're quite the sneaky girl, mary." harry winked at me, and i blushed as my shaky fingers turned the page open to the first sheet.

property of harry styles, it had read. i remembered that. don't read this or ill be very upset. and so will gem. and anne. and robin. and des. and niall. and...

"wow, you just have a whole harry defense squad ready and on deck." i joked as i read the seemingly endless list of people that apparently were going to attack me or something because i was reading harrys journal. he just shrugged and licked his finger, replacing my hand with his and finding a page for me.

"here." he said uneasily, stopping on a page marked dreams and hopes. i didn't have the heart to tell him that was backwards. "read this. and don't laugh." he warned.

so i did.

sometimes i wonder who im really meant to be. i mean, i know im in a world famous band. yes, yes, yes , i think everyone on the planet knows that. funny how i just see myself as a normal guy having the time of my life with my four best friends (minus one), and the media sees me as an a list celebrity. now that's odd. don't think ill ever get used to that.

but i want to be much more than a pop star. i don't want people to remember me for my name on the billboard. i want them to remember me for the things ive done to make the world a wholesome and better place. and im trying, i really am. it's just very hard, given this "womanizer" reputation im expected to uphold. i just cannot wait to settle down with the girl of my dreams. i see it in my near future. a family too. a huge one.

i just want to leave my footprint on the world. i know some people don't like me, lou, zayn, niall, or liam just because we are in a boy band. there's always people like that. but no one can turn down someone who wants to make a great change on the world so that's what im going to do.