The Boy Next Door.

Friends.

Chapter 11:

Xaviera's POV:

I wake up and yawn slowly. Hayden was opposite me and sleeping in the chair beside me. He looks so cute asleep like that with his messy hair; I just want to play with it so bad. I really am beginning to have uncontrollable feelings for him. I do love him but I don't want to admit it to myself or him that I do because I'll just get hurt. I know he sleeps with girls and he's always kissing them in front of me as if he doesn't feel anything back but when it's just us alone, he's so sweet and kissing me as if I'm the only girl in his world and heart. He's so confusing, I always think he loves me back but then he just treats me as if I'm invisible and sleeps with other people.

Maybe I'm being stupid thinking that he might feel the same way. Once a player, always a player, right? He's probably only treating me so cute and sweet because he's using me to get into bed. However, he tried to stop me last time we had sex but maybe that was just so I don't think he's using me. There are so many thoughts and possibilities going on in my head constantly. One thing I know for sure though is that he's driving me crazy and confusing the hell out of me.

I don't know whether to mention it to him or not. I'm scared though in case I'm reading everything totally wrong and he gets creeped out. The best solution is probably just to let things happen themselves and wait until he says something to me about it. That is, if he ever will. He might be totally oblivious to the whole situation; most boys tend to be anyway. He's not like most boys though; he's so sweet, funny, kind and caring. He makes me feel so beautiful and lucky to have someone like him in my life. I've missed him a lot these past four years; it feels like this was meant to happen.

I don't want to get my heartbroken. I don't want to feel this way about him because it pains me seeing him with other people. I can't tell him that, it's not my place to tell him that he can't date or do anything with anyone. Although, he's done that to me multiple times and he's always said I can't because he gets jealous. I guess I could say the same... but unfortunately, I don't have the guts to. Maybe him getting jealous is a sign that he does like me back. He probably doesn't like me as much as to the extent I do because I don't know if he's capable of love.

The way he uses girls doesn't seem like he even cares one bit about them. To Hayden, it's all about the sex. That's his one flaw that I really dislike about him. I wish he wouldn't do that and be like that, if it wasn't for that part of him, I probably would tell him that I love him and want a life with him. It would be amazing if he loves me too because we'd be a proper family with us as a couple. To be a family though, we don't need to be together, all that matters is that we love our baby and I know for a fact that we both do with all our hearts.

The way that Hayden looked at that screen yesterday as he gazed at our baby, it was obvious that he loved them. There's no denying that he does, he even cried. He seemed so scared at the thought of them being gone and so did I. I hope that he stays this way forever and doesn't back down when it actually comes to looking after the baby. There's no point being so amazing before they're born if you're not going to be the same when they're here, so I do believe that he will be great after the birth, if not better than he is now.

I'm really excited about the future. I'm definitely still scared but not as much as I was in the beginning because I believe Hayden when he promised that he'll not let anything bad happen. There's just something about him that's so reassuring and I love that he can make me feel that way, the feeling of being protected and loved. I've never felt this way before. Maybe my hormones are making me crazy to fall in love with my ex-enemy.

I wanted to hate him during those four years after what he did, but I don't think I ever really did hate him. It was a dislike, yes, but not hate. I was just hurt and wanted an apology and now that I have it, I feel better about the situation, especially since he's explained it and made up for it by being the sweet guy he is.