Supernatural Imagines

I Miss Her

**Revised**

Imagine you were an angel and you and Castiel were together. You loved each other with all your heart, but you died. Now it's a thousand years later, and it's the anniversary of your death.

Words: 928

*Castiel's POV*

"He hasn't come out of his room all day."

"Should we check on him?"

"I don't know. Last time I tried to he didn't even look at me." I hear Sam and Dean outside my door. They can worry all they want, but I am not coming out today. Today is one of those days where I am not the quiet and angelic Castiel. Today I am the heartbroken Castiel that hides any other day.

It's been over a thousand years, but it's still too painful. I loved (Y/N) with all my heart, and I always will. We were taken by some demons and when we wouldn't tell them Heaven's secrets they killed her. She was so strong. Those demons did everything they could and she didn't break once. They knew it would be worse to live without her then die so they let me live. Oh, how I wish they would've just killed me. I would go back and be tortured by those demons in a heartbeat if it meant my dear (Y/N) was still with me. The pain was unbearable without (Y/N) then, and it still is now.

I missed her so much that I started writing her letters everyday after she died. She can't read them, but it helps me cope. I write like I'm actually talking to her and some days it really feels like she's listening. Today I've been having trouble writing.

(Y/N), I love you so much. I really miss you and I wish I could wrap you up in my arms just one more time. I wish I could just see your beautiful face one more time or hear you tell me you love me. I have so many wishes that I so desperately want to come true, but sadly I know they won't. I miss your (H/C) hair and how you would always have a new hairstyle. I miss your bright (E/C) eyes and how you purposefully made them brighter on hard days. I wish you could be here with me. I wish you could meet Sam and Dean. I think you would like them. You would fit in with them so wonderfully. You and Sam could geek out about books and go for jogs together, but at the same time you and Dean could have drinking competitions. You would always win because you're and angel, but he would forget that everytime. I just wish th-

I hear the door open and I cover my paper with my body.

"Cas? Buddy? What's wrong? This isn't like you," I hear Dean say behind me. I turn around and Dean gasps and steps back. I probably look horrible because I've cried since this morning. I immediately turn back around and sigh.

"I just miss her so much," I whisper and then break down in front of someone for the first time ever. Dean comes rushing over and hugs me. I don't even try to stop crying. It feels good to let it all out.

"What is it?" Dean asks after I've calmed down. I don't even know how long I've been crying.

"I miss her so much." I put my face in my hands and feel the tears pricking behind my eyelids.

"Who?" Dean asks suddenly confused.

"(Y/N), I miss her. I love her so much and I just wish I could say it to her in person one more time." I say and my voice cracks. I know he doesn't understand, but I don't know how to explain.

"I don't know who that is." He says hesitantly.

"I know. She died many, many years ago." I whisper the last part trying not to let anymore tears out.

"Who is she?"

"She was an angel. The most beautiful angel there ever was. We were in love and were almost never apart. She was my world. She still is my world. I loved her with all my being, but she was also my greatest weakness. I lost her forever ago, but I still feel the pain of losing her everyday." Talking about her helps. I can't keep all these feelings in.

"How did you lose her? If you don't mind me asking?" Dean asks quickly.

"Demons. They tortured us, but I could deal with that. I lost it when they killed her. She died in my arms. I watched the life slowly fade out of her eyes and I still have nightmares about it. Her last words to me were 'You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I love to the moon and back, Castiel.' I hear those words every night and every morning. It's what keeps me going."

"I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you feel." Dean pulls me into a hug again.

"It is almost too much to bear." I say so quietly, so he won't hear me.

"Why today?"

"She died today." I say simply and let more tears slip. I bump the letter and it falls on the floor. Before I can grab it Dean picks it up and starts reading it.

"What's this?" He hands it back again and I run my hand over it.

"Ever since she died, I write her letters. She might not be able to read them, but I like doing it. It makes me feel close to her."

"Do you really think (Y/N) would've liked us?"

"Definitely. You guys act just like her." I smile.

"Will you tell me about her?" He asks tentatively.

"Yeah. This one time..."