TEMPTATIONS

Epilogue

Roberto and I were walking to Ricardo's tombstone, I was holding white roses which were his favorite, and I supposed it gave things a nice light feeling. " Are you all right, " I asked as I looked at Roberto, he looked extremely nervous and I could see that his hand was shaking terribly and I couldn't help but feeling bad for this, maybe I should've just come along and let Roberto come on his own when he was ready. " I'm fine, just nervous, which is weird cause it's not like he will be sitting there waiting for me,"

" True, but he is there and it makes complete sense that you are nervous Roberto," I said and he handed a warm smile even though I knew that smile wasn't as genuine as we both wanted it to be.

We arrived at the grave and I already started feeling heartache and I could also feel my tears threatening to come away, but I was going to keep it that way till the end of our visit. I ordered the flowers neatly down and said, " Hi Ricardo, I love my amazing husband, I had a dream about you last night and this time it wasn't a pleasant one, it was about the time you told me about your cancer, it was a terrible dream Ricardo.

It still feels so new to me, I can even feel that exact pain I felt when you told me, I can still remember the anger I felt and I still remember the tears I shed for you and the things you told me. I miss you so much and I'm crazy to consider that after two years I have already moved on, how can I when you were everything I lived for. I wish you could come back to me, I need you with me, I miss you so badly that I sometimes I don't even know how I can get through a day without losing my mind completely.

Ricardo I love you and won't ever stop," I said then stepped back and let Roberto have his turn. " Ricardo I'm so sorry I disappointed you, I'm sad that I didn't stick to the promise I made you and because of that we never got to see each other or even speak and that's all my fault little bro, all my fault and I will always regret it.

I remembered that I was going to come out and then come back home so that I could fix things, never did I think that your wife would come to visit me for the first time boring bad news about your death. It killed me, Ricardo, I ruined it all and now I never stuck to even say a few words to you or even say goodbye.

Ricardo, I don't fault you for choosing to hate me and not wanting to see me because I also wouldn't want to see me, but I just wish I could have at least gotten one day with you before you left us all for good, that's my ultimate wish," he said heavily as he started crying.

I wept even more at what I saw, I was shaking and I was hurting just like how Roberto was hurting. I wanted to look down and freeze it all but I couldn't, I was glued to the man who showed me and his brother such raw emotion and it honestly made him look beautiful in the most heartbreaking and innocent way possible. " You gave me no last farewell. Nor ever said goodbye.

You were gone before I knew it, and only God knew why. A million times I'll miss you. A million times I'll cry. It broke my heart to lose you. Like time suspended, a wound unmended- you and me. We had no ending, no said goodbye; for all life, I'll wonder why," he finally said then walked away from the grave not alerting me that we were leaving.

I looked at Ricardo's grave before going forth and said, " I'll be with you soon Ricardo," then turned around and walked back to the car, still softly crying. Another sad day that ran short to mark us for a while.

Roberto and I were snuggling on the couch together in the living room, in complete silence. He was lightly stroking my hair while I was drawing circles around his stomach, " do you regret agreeing to go?"

" No, not at all, I'm glad that you asked me to, cause I knew for a fact that I wasn't going to go any time soon."

" Do you believe you got some closure,"