1) "Are you free tomorrow?
No, I'm expensive...sorry."
2) Staring at a dead body in a movie seeing if they're moving.
3) People who laugh so hard on their own jokes that they can't even finish the joke, are my favourite kind of people.
4) Dear math , I'm sick and tired of finding your 'X'. Just accept the fact that she moved on, dude.
5) Your mom name is mom my mom name is mom, dude don't freak about but I think we're related
7) Friend: OMG!! ARE YOU OKAY?!?
Me: Oh yeah I just like bleeding for fun
8) 8 years old today: have Facebook, Twitter, iPad, iPhone, and an Ipod
When I was 8 I had a colouring book, crayons and an imagination
9) Things that annoy me:
1. People
2. slow wifi
3. Homework
4. School
5. Drama
6. School
7. Low battery
8. School
9. And you know...school
10) person: I like your name
Me: Thanks I got it for my birthday
11) That awkward moment when you're done watching a TV serial and now wondering what to do with your life anymore
12) *walks out of room* *why am I here* *walks out of room* "Oh now I remember"
13) SARCASM: The ability to insult an idiot without them realizing
14) If Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook were school subjects my parents would be so proud of me
15) I don't care if I can't sing it's my favourite song therefor I will sing.
16)*FIRE ALARM*
TEACHER: "Okay kids single file...please
ME: "MOVE BITCH I AM ABOUT TO DIE!!"
17) When normal people are at your house: What a lovely house!
Me: what's your wifi password
18) Seeing a teenage post and thinking thank god I'm not the only one
19) I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN YOUR MOUTH WITH MY MOUTH softly because I like you
20) We text 24/7 but when we meet in real life it's just plain awkward
21) I change the date on my homework to make it seem I've done it earlier
22)Don't text me when I am texting then I have to change text
23) Looking at your best friend and thinking why aren't we comedians
24) I hate the feeling you get in your throat when your talking trying not to cry.
25) Being a pizza delivery guy is great no one is disappointed to see
* * *
A/N: I'm alive!!! Okay sorry for the slow updates I've been busy with school and I'm going to a trip with my family so please be patient bye my lovelies-Zar❤️
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Joke Book!
RandomBored? Need an awesome comeback? Or just a good joke once in a while? Well, you came to the right place!
