You're All I Never Wanted // Jack Harries

chapter twenty two.

Author's notes:

I am honestly... wow... I can't believe it. Thanks for all the comments. They made me laugh :D Please don't be angry :') 

THREE MORE CHAPTERS OMGG I CAN'T-

chapter twenty two.

Some nights, I live in horror of people on the radio

Tea parties and Twitter, I've never been so bitter

And you, why you wanna stay?

Oh my God! Have you listened to me lately?

Lately, I've been going crazy...

-Some Nights (Intro) [fun.]

I broke down on my way home- I didn't even last till my home. Chase spotted me. "Beth, are you all right?"

"Eliza," I choked back. "Eliza will do."

He looked confused. "You were fine just now."

I shut my eyes, forcing myself to calm down. "It's just the stress- I'm sorry. I can't handle the stress well. I can't-"

And then I locked myself in the bathroom.

If Jack didn't like me anymore, he should have told me instead of bringing me out. Why was he doing this? Was I too weak, and he didn't want to see me break? Because I thought that's what most people liked to do.

I fumbled for my blade. I knew I couldn't keep doing this, like Finn said. But he wasn't here and Jack's left- they're probably gone for good, and I just don't care anymore. My phone rang with a notification. Grabbed a bite with @chanelromanov220 and met some fans:) then attached to it was a picture of us.

Here he was, pretending nothing had happened. That was my motivation, I suppose. Blade, blood, rinse, blade.

"I need to use the bathroom," Chase called.

"Go use Reese's!" I yelled through the door, and sat back on the toilet lid.

"I lied, I didn't need to use the bathroom. Now get out of there before I bust the door open!" He threatened.

I closed my eyes, washed my cuts and put my bracelets on before opened the door. "What do you want?" I asked rudely. He searched for any signs of sickness in the bathroom.

"Are you sick? Are you all right?" He asked cautiously.

I tried to stop the tears, but I wasn't successful at all. He seemed shocked at my reaction, and when he opened his arms, I went right into them.

---

I slowly walked into his room. We had grown closer the last few days. He was on his twitter, and I saw he was reading Jack's. He sensed me coming, somehow. "So that's why you were crying," he stated.

I went closer to the monitor, and found that he was watching Jack's latest video. My heart dropped suddenly, and I reached for my elastic band immediately. "Huh?"

He rolled his eyes and turned his spinny chair around to face me. "Eliza, I know you were dating this Jack boy. It's kind of obvious the way you two used to hold hands and all that shit."

I kept quiet. "I have no comment."

Jack had put up a new video a few days ago announcing his relationship with Kara. The fans didn't seem to mind as much as they minded me dating Finn. I guess I don't blame them. Kara is flawless.

"And then your twitter."

He paused. "You've been reading hate."

I looked up at him. "I couldn't help it, Chase," I said softly, looking at him sadly. I didn't want to either- but I guess there was no way I could resist torturing myself, as always.

"Why?" He demanded.

"I don't know. I just couldn't. There was no way I could... stop myself, I suppose. It seemed right at that time- still seems right to be honest," I answered, sitting on the floor of his bedroom. He looked over and sighed.

"Do you want to talk?"

"You know I'd say no."

"That was an hypothetical question. I'm demanding you to talk," he said, rolling his eyes.

I stared into space as I started. "You know, I met Jack during the summer holidays. We... met during vidcon and he chatted me up. So being the person I was, I completely fell for it and ignored the irrationally spiteful twin. I lived at theirs for the summer when I couldn't find any place to stay and found out afterwards that Finn actually liked me- or so he said.

"Anyways, it was a very short fling, even though he made me happy," I paused, and looked up, trying to stop the tears. "Um... I was okay with it because I wasn't really in love with him- I'd liked Jack all along but he had a girlfriend. Then, university came and until Christmas I never had any communication with them...

"So suddenly Jack just invited me to their vacation, throwing out how much I meant to him, how much he wanted me to be there and being the gullible person I was- I ate it up again. But at that point he'd broken up with Kara but we were just friends. Somewhere along the vacation we had a massive fight and made up and he confessed that he was wrong about me being just a friend and we started dating. Our relationship wasn't public but it was the best relationship I've ever had.

"Even though his friends didn't like it... I didn't care."

I wiped the tears that had fallen on my cheek. "I took so much hate for him- just to be with him and I just feel so unimportant that he just threw me away like that so easily. It just hurts so much because it's probably the first real relationship I've ever had and- I just... I still love him."

"I swear it all sounds so stupid but to me it just isn't," I continued.

"I guess I don't understand how you could love someone so much but then... I suppose I'm not really entitled to say anything about it- I mean, it's not like I've ever fallen in love before," he shrugged casually, shooting me a half-smirk.

"You're lucky," I managed to mumble.

He sat down on the floor next to me, scooting closer. "He's not worth it, honestly. If he treats you like that- he knows he's not worth it and he's just doing you good by letting you go, right?"

"Somehow, I don't think that's really the case," I muttered, and he sighed.

"Come on, why don't we go and get some ice-cream?" He said, extending a hand out for me to take as he stood up. "I think that's going to cheer you up."

"I really don't think food's going to fix anything," I answered, but then I got up anyways, and walked out the door with him.

Buying me a coffee flavoured one, he bought himself a vanilla. Then, he started talking. "Do you think you're ever going to heal?" He asked thoughtfully.

I went quiet for a long time, and I'm pretty sure he was afraid that I was mad at him.

"I don't know... I don't think so," I said quietly.

It was his turn to be quiet. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Well, I don't know. He's Jack Harries. He's all I ever wanted and more."

"Is he?"

I paused, and shook my head. He looked confused.

I looked him straight in the eye, and answered, "He's all I never wanted."

"I don't understand."

"I didn't think you would."

End notes:

I have a feeling you guys are still mad :( Ah, well, this as you can already feel, won't be a happy ending. I mean, I wouldn't call it that anyways. But then, it's not a sad ending either, I suppose. Sorry guys :)