You're All I Never Wanted // Jack Harries

chapter eighteen.

Author's notes:

HEWWOO!! So... basically this chapter has some inappropriateness, so if you're disturbed by that... you can skip the beginning. But it's not anything overtly inappropriate.

chapter eighteen.

Oh Lord I'm still not sure,

What I stand for, oh.

What do I stand for?

What do I stand for?

Most nights, I don't know anymore.

-Some Nights (fun.)

"I'm sorry, I hope you're not upset. I really just don't want anyone to know... I mean, it's kind of... I like to keep relationships private. And besides, I don't want any hate either. For you as for me."

I kissed him lightly, pretending that nothing matters. "It's all right, don't worry," I whispered. He kissed back harder against my lips, pushing me against the wall.

"I don't understand how I deserve someone like you. You're so understanding," he breathed before kissing me on the neck.

I giggled. "Back at you," I answered, a little breathless. He grinned, continuing down my shoulder, and slowly pushing my shirt up.

"Oh no," I moaned. "Jack, no. Finn's just next door!"

"I think it's just fair that he gets to listen. I got to listen to you two," he mumbled, a huge smile present on his face.

I laughed at his statement, but I also blushed as he pulled my shirt off. "Don't be shy," he murmured against my skin.

"We really shouldn't," I protested.

"Why not?" He breathed against the top of my chest.

I gripped the bedsheets tightly. "Jack, Finn's here..."

"He's heard it before," Jack seemed to say bitterly, as he kissed between my chest. I moaned in pleasure, warmness spreading throughout my body.

"But Jo's here," I managed to get out before everything got too far.

He groaned, and pulled himself away, collapsing next to me. "All right, you've got a point," he admitted.

"You know, Jo's really beautiful."

He groaned again, rolling up and on top of me, staring me in the eyes. "Oh, I thought we've been over that already. Jo is pretty but you're the one for me, all right? I just want you. You're better."

I smiled. "Thanks, Jack. But I find it hard to believe."

Jack held up his hands. "No, no, no. Don't argue with me," he said sternly before kidding me again. I gladly kissed back, not wanting to continue this subject anymore.

During midnight, I sneaked out of the room to "use the washroom". Of course, I wasn't telling the complete truth right now, but why bother?

There was a loud knock, and I jumped, letting the blade drop into the sink with a loud "clang". I cursed under my breath. "I'm sorry, wait a moment," I apologised, slipping him into my pocket.

I opened the door and met a tired Finn. He looked more alert after he saw me come out. I realised it was either because I was only in a bra and boyshorts, or maybe because he guessed what I was doing in there. "Eliza, you can't-"

Second option.

"Finn, I can do anything I want," I reassured him, and he frowned.

"No, you can't. You can't keep doing this," he muttered, strained.

"Doing what?"

We both turned and saw Jo staring at us suspiciously. "Are you trying to seduce him? I don't think you understand but I'm his girlfriend. You're his ex. I think you need to get your facts right. I don't even know what you're here for."

"Jo!" Finn exclaimed.

She turned to him. "What? Don't say she wasn't trying to seduce you. She's wearing only a bra! But I guess that doesn't matter, there's not much to look at anyways."

It was till then a sharp pain tugged at my stomach, and I could talk. "What?"

Finn didn't attempt to stop or correct her, or even defend me. He loves her too much, I'm guessing. "I'm not! It's 1 in the morning, I don't want to talk about this!"

Then turning, I went back into the room, took a pillow and then settled down on one of the sofas in the lounge room. Silent tears ran down my cheeks, and I realised how often I've been crying ever since I've met the Harries boys. They can't be a good influence on me.

The next day I woke up, Jack was sitting on the chair opposite me with a cup of Starbucks in his hand. He handed it to me immediately after he saw my eyes open. "I've been beginning to think I've done something wrong," he said in such a sad tone that I wanted to kiss him.

I frowned. "No! No, you've been an angel. The best boy anyone could ask for. It's just me... And I've got some problems... And they're not necessarily... I don't know, sometimes I need time alone to think things over."

He nodded, and said, "Can I share it with you?"

I shook my head sadly. "I wish you could. I wish I knew how to start, but I don't. Maybe someday I'll learn and you'll eventually know. I do hope so," I answered, looking him dead in the eyes.

He nodded again. "Don't scare me like that though. I hate to think you'd just leave me like that."

"I wouldn't worry about that, Jack."

"I hope so."

And at that moment, I realised how insecure Jack Harries was as well. I don't know if I'm correct, but I think it's the fact that so many girls on the interent constantly talk about how much better Finn is.

I pressed my lips against his firmly, and pulled back. "You don't need to, it's always been reality."

---

"Can we talk now?" Jo hissed to me angrily.

I wouldn't blame her, to be honest- if I had found Jack alone with a half-naked girl... Shit would have gone down. I looked at her sceptically. "What is there to talk about? You've jumped to conclusions way too fast," I replied, my lips turning down at the corners.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't try to be prim and proper. We all know you're not that girl."

"I don't understand why you're making all these assumptions! I'm not interested in Finn, all right? I have someone else I'm pursuing. I broke up with him, so I don't think you have to worry about it."

"Like who? Finnegan Frayn Harries?"

I rolled my eyes. "I understand you're worried, but you just don't need to be. Finn doesn't love anyone else; he likes you. I know. I just know, all right? I caught him cheating on me with someone much better and I pretended I didn't know. Our relationship didn't get better- he's just not interested in me. And I don't like to go after unguaranteed relationships," I finally admitted, and then turned away from her.

"I don't trust you, that's all. You make me sound like a massive jerk now," I heard her say, more softly than before.

I shook my head. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I just don't take to confrontations well."

"I think for our benefit- for both of us, it would be better if you stayed away from Finn."

"That, I wouldn't worry about. Consider that done, then," I answered.

She nodded. "Good. Good, then. I'm sorry about anything harsh I've said to you. I was just really worried, to be honest."

I nodded again, and turned away from her again. "I guess that's all right, then," I muttered, before walking away from her and back to where Jack and Finn was. Finn looked nervously at us as if to ask, "how are you guys?"

I nodded once at him, and then pointedly ignored him. "Hey Jack," I mumbled at Jack, who beamed at me, slinging an arm around my shoulder. "Where are we going today?"

"Colombo. Then we'll go home on Thursday."