Unconditionally

Elizabeth

We all have a past. The past isn't something we usually like to revisit. One night was all it took for my whole life to change. My life fell apart one of the many night my parents were arguing with each other. I was fifteen years old and lived in a two story house.

The bedrooms, the kitchen and living room were on the main floor. The other floor; the basement, that's where everything went wrong that night. It is one night that I will never forget that's for sure.

It was the night I grew the courage to stop it all. I ran to the door that lead to the basement and swung it open. Up against the wall was my mother with my father's hands around her neck.

She was gasping for breath. I couldn't just let her die, so I went down the stairs, but I don't think they knew I had even entered the room. I was trying to come up with a plan until my mouth started moving on its own.

I didn't even realize I was yelling "STOP, YOU'RE HURTING HER!" My father whipped around with anger written all over his face. He turned to my mother and spit in her face, calling her a piece of trash. See my mom was afraid of my dad because as you can see he is a little abusive.

So she always went out and found other people who would love her and treat her nicely. Basically she was a whore in away.

I have learned to just accept that fact. So when my dad would find out he would threaten and beat her. I always found my way into their mess because I love my mom and I would like to think that she loved me too; so I always got the beating.

Any way when he whipped around, he had this evil smile on his face. I heard my mom gasping for air, but I knew I had to run instead of taking care of her again.

You see my mom would self-medicate with drugs and then I have an abusive alcoholic dad; great family isn't it? So I was always trying to help her get clean because she always promised she would, but she always ended up breaking those promises.

After a while I kind of just became numb to any feelings; I never showed any emotion towards anyone. I really hated my life, I hated it so much I didn't care at this point what happened to me.

I took off running because I knew from experience he was going to give me hell, but I had a hunch this time it was going to be worse. I was going to pay for what I did and it wasn't going to be just another beating. With the crazed look in his eye this was going to be life changing, so all I kept thinking was that I was going to die tonight.

I got to the top of the stairs and slammed the door shut. I didn't know where to run next so I was a little delayed when running for my life.

I started running for my life until someone caught my wrist, I tried with all of my strength to yank free from their strong grip but it was too late.

He was punching me so hard I just gave up trying to fight back and to get away but I fell to the floor. It was probably a big mistake but I don't really care anymore, I was exhausted from fighting for my life constantly.

With one hard powerful kick he knocked the air out of me and kept going and calling me an ungrateful whore.

This time I was screaming for my mom's help, but when she finally came into the room she just stood there watching everything happen. How could she not help me? Doesn't she love me? I started really gasping for air now. I knew this was the end and I kept telling my self that it was okay, it was okay to let go and be free.

I started seeing black dots and I became really dizzy. It felt as if time were in slow motion and that every kick and punch that was delivered to my body took time so I could really feel the pain.