Jasper's weak spot

JWS Chapter 8

[A/N It's been a while. Or.. several whiles. Whatever, ENJOY~]

Chapter 8 - How do you feeeeeeel about that?

Jasper POV

He blinked a couple of times, not really registering what I was saying, I suppose. His left hand twitched  slightly.

"WH-What did you just say?" He asked bewildered. I awkwardly scratched the back of my head.

"You heard it!" I spat. I didn't even know why I was annoyed. Maybe because Felix wasn't trying to kill me for wanting to eat Alice..Maybe I just told him because I hoped he'd punish me for it. Because I loathed myself for wanting to do so.

"Shit man, sorry. But I still don't get it." Felix' youthful face stared at me in a somewhat curious way, failing to appear concerned. I sighed deeply and relaxed my muscles, feeling some kind of bonding going on between us.

"We, Carlisle actually, recently discovered Alice has vines due to her.." I cleared my throat uneasily, "illness. And erm.. Her blood smelt more appealing than anything I've ever smelt in my entire life. It's sweet, it's rich, it's powerful.. I- I just want to taste it. And the worst problem is, " I darted my eyes to his to see if I still had his interest, "Carlisle has asked me to bite her. He wants to examin in her blood, and vampire teeth are the only items strong enough to pierce trough her skin. Because I lost my control last time, after her 'funeral', he decided it wasn't clever to let anybody else try."

"Funeral?" was Felix' only response. I resisted the urge to slam my head against a nearby tree.

"Long story short, I wanted to kill Alice." I finished.

"No, dude, you didn't want to kill her." His slap on my back surprised me. "You had bloodlust, that's all." And for the first time in my life, I knew how Edward must've felt. The self-loathing, the fear, the everything. I sighed.

"I guess you're right..."

Carlisle POV

We arrived back home a while later, leaving the hospital-chaos behind us. Jasper had run away unexpectedly, his emotions being all over the place and all.. Our emotions all over the place and all..

"You feeling alright, sweetheart?" I asked Alice, feeling her temperature with my hand. Alice suddenly seemed to look far away, her eyes going blank. "What is it?" I asked grabbing her shoulder, trying not too squeeze too hard for her broken body to handle. Bella immediately rushed over after handing Nessie *cough* Renesmee to Edward. Bella ushered me out of the room impatiently, pulling Rose and Esme with her instead, so I was left with Emmett and Edward.

"Well..." I said, putting my hands in my pockets. "That was certainly interesting." Edward mumbled something I couldn't put together as a normal sentence as he was probably concentrating on Alices vision.  

"Wonder what those girls are doing in there." Emmett said, not trying to hide his devilish smile. I raised my eyebrows expectantly. "What, pops, I have dreamt about a threesome of the girls since Bella was turned." My palm hit my face.

"Can't. Get. Disturbing. Images. Out. Of. My. Mind." I muttered. 

"How can you find THAT disturbing?" Emmett asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Guys, trying to focus on an important vision here?" Edward murmured irritatedly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What, are you saying you are into that as well?!" I asked, shaking my head. A curse almost escaped from my lips as I looked at my watch. I groaned. "I still have to go to that therapist, don't I?" 

"Yup, pops, good luck!" Emmett laughed, slapping my back. I had the sudden urge to pull my hair out, but didn't.

"All right, boys, you take care of Alice, right? If she gets cold, ask Jake to warm her, eh?" Edward still tensed at the mentioning of Jacob, but otherwise only nodded. Just as I walked trough the front door, I heard Alice scream. I whipped my head around immediately, followed by my body. "What's going on?" I asked alarmed as Rosalie almost ran into me. I grabbed her wrist, making her turn around, blonde hair flying over her shoulder.

"Alice had a vision about Jasper and Felix running into eachother."

"Wait, guys!" I shouted before they were all out of sight. "That doesn't have to mean a bad thing. We can't leave Alice here unprotected. What if it is a trap or something?" I almost stumbled over my words, trying to get them out as quick as possible.

"Dad, with all this shit going on I'm not going to risk my little bro." Rosalie said, her eyes practically penetrating me.

"You're right." I mumbled. "Shall I go with you guys?"

"Nah, pops, you go have some fun at the therapist!" Emmett's booming laugh told me. Right.

"Come on, Carlisle, relax a bit. We'll take care of it ourselves for once." Edward muttered. Esme appeared in front of me mere seconds later, pecking me on the lips.

"Bye love." I murmured against her lips, before letting her go with the the impatient kids.

I put my coat back on together with a scarf, seeing as it wouldn't be humanly possible to go without it at this temperature. Soon I was arriving at 'Mr Slugs Mental Health Centre'. I inhaled some unnecessary  air before pushing open the, what I suppose, heavy door. For me it felt like a feather, though. 

"Mr Cullen!" What could only be Mr Slugs greeted me eagerly, shaking my hand as if it was a soda yet to be shaken.

"Mr Slugs?" I smiled politely. Let this be over quick.. I kept chanting in my head. He nodded, bouncing up and down on his tiptoes. I didn't even have a reason to be here! If they only knew... He calmed down reasonably after seeing my grim face.

"Right, sorry Mr Cullen, I.. uhh.. forgot about the circumstances." He looked at me with an apologetic gaze.

"I'm fine, don't worry." I muttered. I wasn't sure if he'd heard, but he shook his head disapprovingly. He lead my to a room with, I'm not kidding you, a big red sofa and a leather chair. He gestured to the sofa. "Do I have to lay down on it?" I wondered aloud.

"Yes, Mr Cullen, that's what it IS for." His voice reminded me of Severus Snape from the Harry Potter series. How could wizards even be real? Humans really fascinate me sometimes.. "Recently... you're daughter has died. How do you feeeeeeel about that?" Slugs suddenly asked, dragging out an annoyingly long 'e'. I thought for a moment, choosing my words carefully.

"I loathe it."  I finally got out. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue, but I merely shrugged. 

"And can you make a draaawing of how you feeeel?"  He asked, handing me a pen and a paper, not really waiting for an answer. I felt my eye twitch slightly in annoyance. I held the pen above the paper, a little ink drop falling from it. An image flashed trough my mind. Alice, not moving, dead. Only then I realized how close she actually was to dying. The hand enclosing the pen contracted, making it shudder until it cracked. I watched it happen in slowmotion, the ink spattering across the paper.

"Well, atleast you showed me how you feel!" Slugs said enthusiastically, wiping some ink off his face, only spreading it all across it. "Who, do you think, is this hate pointed at?" The now blue-faced doctor asked. 

"I don't want to think about it anymore." I said, my voice still somewhat calm. Why did this man have to remind me of every bad thing in the world? 

"Is the hate maybe pointed at.. yourself, Carlisle?" I looked up, I was sure the calm Carlisle had disappeared from my face, but didn't care. 

"I said, I don't want to talk about it anymore." I spat out. 

"Don't run away from it, Carlisle! Don't run away from the self-hate. Face it. and eliminate it!" The doctor was on the edge of his seat, eyes alive with interest.

"Leave it alone, doc, enough!" I was seriously losing the control I praised myself for here. 

"You're a doctor, Carlisle, shouldn't you have saved her? Wasn't it your fault?" Before I knew it I'd broken the sofa into two, one piece almost flying against his head, but my phone interrupted me just on time. I looked at the screen and read 'Alice'. My stone heart almost came back to life.

Phone calls were only for emergencies, after all.

[A/N Muahahha, burn in hell for hurting Carlisle, Slugs!!!!! ]