How To Be Straight

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I was moments away from dismissing his comment with a simple wave of the hand when I realized how undeniably creepy that statement sounded. "Wait, what?"

But Mike didn't seem to care. He leaned over my shoulder again and sniffed. "You smell like Derek," he reiterated. "Care to explain?"

"I spend a lot of time with him," I countered quickly. I already knew what Mike was hinting at, but I didn't think it was any of his business. It really wasn't, anyway.

He gave me a skeptical look. "Or he spends a lot of time inside you."

I froze. The last thing I wanted to talk to Mike about was sex.

"How does it feel?" he continued. He sat patiently with his hands folded in his lap and his brows raised in genuine inquiry. "Does it hurt?"

I shrugged, trying to mask the fact that my mind was relaying the images of last night. I really had no idea what possessed me to try to be extra kinky with Derek, considering it was my asshole that had to pay the price, but what mattered was that Derek got pleasure from it. I'd do it all over again if he wanted me to.

I feigned a nonchalant shrug. "Little bit."

Mike was silent for a while and when he finally spoke again, it was with precaution. "On a scale from one to ten with ten being the highest, how much does it hurt?"

I mentally laughed at that. Numbers couldn't even begin to describe the pain I felt, but I doubted that would have an impact on Mike, anyway. "I would say a solid twelve."

He sucked in sharp breath, but it was quickly followed by a dreamy sigh. "God, I need to lose my virginity. The entire soccer team's already lost it to someone and I'm still ripe as a banana. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is?"

"Maybe you shouldn't rush into it," I advised. "You might lose it to someone that you don't really love."

Mike narrowed his eyes into slits, studying my every move. After a moment's hesitation, he erupted in very loud and very offensive laughter. "Don't worry, I'm not going to lose it to the first foreign guy that speaks to me."

I sent him a cold, hard, glare.

Laughing it off, Mike snatched the magnesium strips from their container and dumped them into the beaker. As soon as they started to react, he wrote something in indistinguishable handwriting on his paper. When he was finished, he lifted his head to look at me. "Can I ask you something?"

I shrugged. "You'll ask me anyway."

"How do you get people to like you?" he inquired.

I raised a curious brow. "What are you talking about? Everyone pretty much hates me."

He gaped. "Well, Derek is crazy in love with you and Nicolas is crazy obsessed with you, so you must have something. I mean, yeah, you've got pretty eyes and a symmetrical face, but your teeth are kinda crooked, your hair looks awful, and it looks like your mom dresses you-" He paused to give me a mocking smile, "-and not in the good way, either."

I faked a smile. "Wow, thanks."

"And I highly doubt that you have a big dick," he added, "so what is it? What makes you so appealing?"

I shrugged. "Maybe it's my personality."

Mike laughed at that. "What personality?"

I slammed my hands down on the table and glared at him. "Would you cut it out?" I snapped with my voice rising to levels I had never heard from myself before. "You're just bitter that you'll never get the opportunity to take Derek's dick like I do!"