Belief

7.9

"Can't we just pretend? Can't we just fake it and say you aren't leaving?" I groan, kicking the water.

"Madds you will always be my bestfriend." He begins, his voice shaking. "We both know long distance doesn't work, and I don't want us to get into fights, I don't want to risk our friendship. I think we both know what has to happen."

"So we will just be friends?" I shake my head. "It is just words Ash. We can say that we are just friends but inside we will both still love each other, so what is the point?"

"The point is that friendship is easy to attain, our friendship has never been broken so everything will be easier if we keep it at that. That doesn't mean I don't love you, because I do, and I always will, but I think it is only fair. I don't want to limit you Madds. If you meet a perfect guy at school I don't want to be the one holding you back when I am half a world away and you know you may never see me. I want the best for you, and this is the only way."

I nod, knowing he is right. We will still talk on the phone, we will still Skype, I will still tell him I love him before I hangup, but the label is gone. No one needs labels anyway. "Remember the pact we made on this dock last year?"

"Of course," Ashton giggles, watching me with bright eyes. "If you aren't married by the time you turn 37 you will just have to marry me."

"Can we lower the age?" I laugh, "how about 23?"

"No!" Ashton laughs, "give yourself a chance at a normal life."

"But I don't want normal, I want you."

"Madds," Ashton whines. "Please don't make this harder than it has to be."

"I'm sorry," I frown, looking down at the water.

Ashton reaches over and places his hand on top of mine, brushing my cheek with his thumb to look at him, our eyes locking. "I will always love you, whether you are my bestfriend, my girlfriend, a thousand miles away, or right next to me."

"Ash-"

"I will always be a part of your life. I will always support anything you do. I will always make time to call you, okay? We may be far apart, but we will always be as close as we are now."

"Promise you won't forget about me?" I whisper my biggest fear.

Ashton frowns, staring at me intensely. "Is that what you think is going to happen?"

I nod nervously, trying to look away but he pulls me back to him. "Madds, I will never forget you. You saved me. You showed me that life is worth living, and I will forever be grateful for that. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have a world of fans to go meet. I wouldn't have the confidence to get up on stage. If it wasn't for you I would- I wouldn't be-"

I cut him off with a kiss, not strong enough to hear him end that sentence. He clutches my face, kissing me with every ounce of love, giving me the final goodbye, putting every bit of thank you into the movement of his lips. Every memory is locking in with this kiss, every doubt melted away.

"I will never forget you," he repeats, "You made me believe in myself. You made me believe life was worth living. You made me believe in love. You gave me the strength to hold belief." Ashton kisses my forehead.

"You gave me something to believe in when all my belief was broken." I whisper, pressing my lips against his. "You are all I'll ever need."

Ashton closes his eyes, his forehead pressed against mine, "I believe that we all have one true love. It may take us a few tries to fine that true love, but we all have one. If you are mine, then one day somehow we will find a way to be together. One day the universe will make it work. I believe that you are my true love."