Within Dreams [A Legolas love story]

Ruins

"Not particularly," I replied.

Again, with sarcasm, always hiding behind a wall of it. He couldn't see how my insides quivered at the memory of his touch or how I yearned simply to talk at length as we used to, frivolous chatter,  just to pass the time.

And I thought it was me not doing the looking.

"My father used to tell me, after Naneth passed on, that kings never let the people know what they felt. Because a king must first govern with his head, then his heart. He would say, 'Ion-nin, what do you think would happen if a young deer was caught in a trap, with orcs were closing in on all sides of our soldiers, leaving them with nowhere to go. Could we save the deer? Even if we knew it was the right thing, many, many more would die.'"

I smiled at the thought. Ridiculous, smiling at the feet of this yawning abyss, but for a moment, sweet memories of the starry sky and whispering leaves of Greenwood took over my senses.

"Ridiculous," Legolas said softly, echoing my thoughts. "But I was still young, not yet an heir. Do not think that it is easy for me to continue to rule with my head, not my heart, Gianna, for as you know, it is rare the two are not intertwined.  I choose not to because I cannot."

"What?"

"Tie you to something you can never have," he said. The deep sadness I sometimes saw in his eyes sat in his gaze, crystallising it, until the shards forced me to look at him.
Him. He wanted to save me from himself.

"You." I said, not daring to look away, hardly daring to breathe as it was.

"Mayhap my thoughts are selfish," he breathed. "But when you leave..."

I cut him off.

"Legolas, stop--"

"When you have fulfilled your purpose here, I will--"

"Don't--"

"-- never see you again," he finished. "This cannot be."

I knew he was right. I knew why I had tried, tried not to succumb to the feelings that were in me. Because I was mortal. And I would not stay until the end.

"I am sorry," I said, turning away. "I shouldn't have pushed you away."

"I am glad you did," Legolas said, his voice holding a warning.

I looked at him questioningly.

He ignored me. "Come, before the sun begins to sink," he said.

My attention focused on the deep descent before me. "I have not the skill nor the strength to survive such a jump," I pointed out.

"There are stairs," he said with an amused smile.

Oh, well then. I grimly walked towards the cracked stairs, accidentally brushing past Legolas as I went. Instantly, like a shock, I felt him tense up. I looked at him, concerned, but his expression revealed nothing. I tore my eyes away and quickly hurried down the stairs, gripping my bow tightly.

The bottom was a replica of the top. Dust. Rubble.

But there was something different, too. Like a voice in another room you strained to hear, I tried to grasp what was surrounding us and failed. My palms suddenly ached.
Needless to say, this was making me very uncomfortable.

"Legolas," I whispered, not daring to say anything louder.

He said nothing. I squinted though the darkness, then peered up at the distant circle of light above, and felt dizzy.

"Legolas, please," I said shallowly.

I turned and he wasn't there, nothing was anywhere, just a haze. Maybe it was in my head? It was pressing against my eyes.