Memories of Dispair (Editing)

Chapter-Where Are You

Picture of Ernesto

Song meant for chapter
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I woke up to see everyone all around me with a worry expression seeing their mouths moving but not hearing the words. I rub my eyes feeling myself coming back to reality "I want to leave" I groan getting up from the feeling waves of dizziness hitting me like a truck. Francis pulls me back down on the bed with a hurt expression "Your not going anywhere" He said with that I can see my parents walking to the door with the therapist both chatting away while Francis and Alexandrine are by me.

My parents both went downstairs to talk more with the therapist while my friend and brother decide to watch me like a hawk I want to leave and I will find a way out.

An idea pops into my head making me grin slightly from inside; looking at Alex I put a hand on his "Can I have water? I'm thristy" Pleading to him with sorrow in my eyes as Alex nods giving in and goes towards the door. I look at Francis to see him looking at my parents his hands not on me.

With a flash I run towards the window opening it swiftly climbing down the pipe starting to see Francis climbing down too "Monica stop fucking around" he yells gritting his teeth. I slid down seeing my Francis is halfway down I take off running faster hoping to loose my brother.

I stop on my tracks where I'm three streets down not seeing Francis "Fucking finally" I mutter about to turn around, but I get tackle to the ground by someone that is pinning to the roads we both tussle around till the man has my hands pin hard to the road looking up I see it's dad.

After that I got locked in my parents room which has only small window which is to small for me to crawl out. My dad didn't talk to me during the time he was dragging me back instead he had this look of wanting to give up on me, but when I got home my mother slapped me hard and took off while my dad did the same leaving me with Francis and Alex.

I took out my phone texting my boss just giving him some excuse why I won't be at work. I slip my phone back in my pocket feeling tears overflowing; flashes of Ernesto crept on me haunting me like some horrifying reminder that he will never be with me.

Francis POV
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I ran a hand through my dirty blonde hair giving a heavy sigh feeling my feet tapping on floor while I lean against outside the door hearing out for Moncia. I just don't think I can handle this; she hasn't told me shit and my patients are running a thin line, and then I found that the therapist fucked my sister in the fucking restrooms stalls when the told me I punched hard.

My thoughts are running wild while my palms are getting sweaty because I can't take this pain of knowing that my own sister is building up a tension that can destroy her life.

I pressed my ear to the cold white wooden door hearing sorrowing painful sobs from the other end of the cold pressed door.

Taking the key out I thrust it in the whole stepping inside seeing Moncia at the end of room huddle up against the wall tears dripping down, mascara smear from her eyes to the tip of her cheek bones, then comes her red hair that is musing all over the place, and together her clothing is skimpy looking and rusty from the tackle she took from our dad.

Monica sat up from the end of the room wiping her eyes then sat down on the bed having this shameful plaster look in her eyes that also shows a hint of dread inside of her. I sat down feeling Monica slump her head on my broad shoulders with the tension completely utter silence.

I guess I can say this isn't silence but more of confession that she knows that she is screwing up, and is drowning in this deep pothole. Closing my eyes I said, "For the past couple weeks mom has been worried about you. I heard her cry because you couldn't bare to answer that fucking phone-."

I can hear Monica about to protest instead I cut her off continuing to say, "-I didn't go with dad on his meetings because I was worried sick. Whatever is going on your neither that first or the last person that has PTSD. Stop feeling sorry for yourself Moncia" After my announcement I got up walking out the room leaving Monica while I close the cold door on her then lock it tightly.

***

Alexandrine and I sip on ice cold beers at the kitchen making small talk about the Greenbay Packers and the new Call Of Duty game. We both know what really want to say, but this twisting gut in us doesn't want us to spill because if we do it'll just light up on fire.

Alex sat down on the chair rubbing his scruffy facial hair that he hasn't shaven since he found our that Monica ran from the hospital, "I know we're like brother's, but Francis I want to tell you something before any other shit comes up-" he looks up for permission then nod allowing it.

Alex took a swing of breathe then lean back into the chair playing with his fingers then said, "-Monica had a boyfriend and I think he died horribly in the war. She didn't tell me much, but I have a feeling it's the reason she is the way she is." The newly information just made my gut turn and twist like a knife just own my guts to make funny movements out of it.

I walk outside pulling out a cigarette then lit-it up putting the cigarette between my lips tasting the lingering nicotine and the nasty flavor hitting my taste buds, but even then I like to smoke to ease my nervousness. I see James walking over to after I did punch him in the nose an hour ago. James runs a hand through his black hair then said, "I'm sorry for what I did Francis, but now that I know she is a patient there will be no relationship between us." James grins weakly then gives me a file that has Ernesto the name written sloppily on "You might want to read what happened to her boyfriend." seeing James starting to walk away.

My eyebrows knit in shock I walk towards James shoving the file into his chest shaking my head, "I want Monica to tell me from her mouth rather than you" I narrow my eyes then quickly went inside while bumping his shoulder on purpose. Stepping inside seeing that Alexandrine was not in the kitchen and then I glaze my eyes to the door that leads to Monica seeing that it's open afraid to see what may be up there. Not this again.

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