Atlantic

"Let it Be" #3

"Let it be" #3

It tell her everything: it's not as if there is anything I can lose. She just nods and sips her tea, I guess we were quiet for a while and at some point I must have started crying because she leans over and puts an arm around me and smiles: that type of smile where you bite your lips and smush your eyebrows together- the sympathetic kind.

"Can I see the note she left you?"

I breathe in deeply and slip my hand into my pocket retrieving the soggy smudged words that my sister wrote. It was the original.

A man and his wife were going to New York. Along the way he met a man with seven wives. Each wife had seven children. Each child had seven cats. Each cat had seven kittens. Kittens, cats, children, wives. How many people are going to New York?

Her eyebrows scrunch together further and she starts to bite on her nails. Glancing away she flexes her fingers and looks to the ceiling. "I'm sorry, Veronica, I don't know" she sighs and looks into her tea.

"I do" I say biting my nails "Its 2, but that doesn't help me! It's just a stupid number! She could have written the number 2and mum would've never known what it meant! Why the hell did she have to code it, she was supposed to be the dumb one!" I brush away the tears which threatened to spill down my cheeks. Blinking furiously I turn away from Isobel.

"Ver, it's okay we will work this out." It's not her jobs to work it out.

"Don't call me that... it's what my mum called me... when her brain didn't function enough to actually say my name, "I brush at my face again the tears just spill down faster.

I paw at my face "okay I knew a veronica once, she liked to be called Ronni" she brushes the hair out of my eyes and wipes my tears with her sleeve, she touches my necklace "Hey, Ronni" I smile weakly and smile, it feels good to be called that again. "Where did you get that necklace, it's beautiful?"

"My dad" I say simply

"Your sister had one?" I nod and feel another jewel of water slip down my face "hey, don't cry, I will find them for you, even if I have to take you back home-back to New York"

I glance up at her "I am serious, Ronni" she grins at me and widens her eyes and she slurps on her tea bringing her hand to her chest as she quickly glances down in her cup "how do you drink that so fast it's like a thousand degrees"
I look into my cup, sure enough its empty "Dunno, I guess it's a British trait" she laughs and puts her Mug on the table.
"We best go back to the Hotel"
"What?"
"Oh this is my friend's house, my boyfriends"
"You don't have to take me back to a hotel" i pick at my nails again.
"Oh but I want to" she smirks at me and bursts into laughter adding for clarification "you look like you need somewhere to stay."

* * *

"Hey, Room 240" she takes the key from the receptionist '"thanks" she grabs my cello again and leads the way to the lift, doing a little dance as she waits for it to come.

"So can you play this?" She pokes the Big Cello case which lay between us on the bed.
"No I just brought it for sledging!" I roll my eyes at the ceiling.
"Wow. Stupid question sorry."
"I played more... but I had to leave them at home. Oh crap. Not home, never will be home."
"Your dad lived there; your sister and brother too, plus there's you, it will always be your home Ronni." I smile sadly at the ceiling. "You know, we could always go get them, your instruments."
"There's too many."
"No, i don't think Dave would mind, he's a DJ. At least you will know they are safe."
"She'll be there."
"Yeah but I doubt at 3 in the morning she will be awake."
I lift myself looking at Isobel who was lying on her back, eyes closed and hands folded in her lap, "you would do that for me?" she opens her eyes, they found mine immediately, "of course." she sits up "let's do it now! I'll just ring Dave."

Five minutes later i was stood by the door bouncing on the balls of my feet. "He's outside" Isobel says grabbing my hand "let's go"

"Left down here then it's the first house on the right." I gesture with my hands even though they can't see me, Dave turns the headlights off as we pull up to the pavement.

I lead Isobel down the side of the house and look up to my window, two stories up. "We're gonna have to go through the back door y'know" Isobel sighs and rakes her hand through her hair, "let's just hope she's not home." I nod and push on the door, it swings open with ease creaking and groaning as it swings back. I lunge forward to grab it before it hits the wall that was too close. "You stay here," I whisper too Isobel "I'll being you things to
Take to the car." She nods and disappears around the corner pulling the door closed a little. I turn back to the dark hallway treading carefully on the stone tiles. Half way up the stairs I see a light glow through a half open door, pressing myself to the door I place my foot onto the next step, a small creak-like a cats meow whispers through the air and I take my foot off closing my eyes and holding my breath. After a few minutes I continue up the stairs missing out the creaky step. Turning left I enter my room, clothes were strewn everywhere and my bed was a mess, I breath in before filling a duffle bag with some clothes and shoes. Opening the window I drop them out, Isobel looks up and gives me a thumbs up before sprinting silently to the car. I quickly move over to the attic opening grabbing the stick with the hook on the end. I take hook my saxophone by the handle and flit my eyes to the door, listening for a second, it was silent. Tiptoeing over to the window I lower the heavy instrument out of the window just as Isobel comes running back. She takes the saxophone, we get through 2 instruments and another bag of clothes when the front door slams.

I jump out of my skin and the keyboard that was hanging out of the window dropped a few feet. Quickly I lowered it to the ground where it lay next to Isobel's quivering arms. 'hide' I mouthed to her, she nodded at me and held my eyes for a second before turning and carrying the keyboard to a nearby hedge, hiding it then running around the side of the house. I can hear mum banging around downstairs, probably brewing some coffee before she's comes up.

Before she comes up.

I could go out the window, but she would see me - the kitchen window looks out over the garden- I hope Isobel is hiding well. Deciding I pull out the drawer on the side of my bed, squeezing in the small gap and them pulling in the drawer behind me. Nessa and I used to hide in here when mum got angry- she didn't know where we were.

I hear footsteps- the full thud coming up the stairs echoing into my ear which was pressed uncomfortably to the floor. The step Creaks and Mum is on the Landing - opening my door. I forgot to close the window i think to myself and say I quick prayer in my head. I hear mum walking around the room and hold my breath, squeezing my nails into my palms and scrunching my eyes. She walks around the bed, standing beside me. Cursing she lets out a scream- guttural and ugly, bringing her power down onto the bed to hit it. I gasp as the metal frame squashed my body wincing in pain. The bed still shakes and I hope that her scream covered my noise. "Stupid girl, she doesn't need my love"
"you never loved me," I whisper under my breath when I hear footsteps next door.

Silently I pushed the drawer out and tiptoed to the window and gave a thumbs up to the window, black flashes in the upper corner, not noticeable unless you were really looking. Grabbing my last back pack and case I tiptoed to the door- her light was out, good. I quickly made my way to the top of the stairs begging myself not to make a noise. I glanced into the dark hallway swallowing my fear.
"Going somewhere?" I hushed voice cuts through the silence. My mother's body emerges from the darkness and snarl painted her face as she inched towards me. I turned, fear taking over my body and I sprinted to the bathroom, fumbling with the lock on the door. I moved to the window opening it quickly, Holding onto the cold metal I braced myself for the cold fall. A scratch echoed through the room as Mum tried to enter, before she could change her tactics I vaulted through the window hanging off the window ledge just as she burst through the door closing my eyes I dropped from the ledge. I landed roughly, rolling once before scrambling to my feet and limping as fast as my legs would take me to the waiting car.

I took one last look at the house I used to call home and the woman I used to call my mother.