Haikyuu!! x Reader

novocaine | ushijima wakatoshi

fem!reader

italics means it's a flashback.

song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjtNPyVwMps

Your fingers tore methodically through a sheet of white paper, the tearing noises the only sound in a blank silence. You sat, crosslegged, on your bed.

Snowy scraps fell around you, haloing you in a ghostly light.

You felt nothing. You didn't want to feel.

Memories were painful.

You didn't want to sort through them like colorless photographs, discarding them all at the end. Because you had already been built up like a tower, only to be ripped down in seconds.

Betrayal hurt like a brand. It scarred you, burnt you to the ground, and yet here you still stood, skin charred and raw.

You couldn't taste the fire that licked at your body, because you didn't want to.

He had broken you. Utterly, completely, wholly.

"Wakatoshi!" you called, running to catch up with the tall third year. Your boyfriend.

He turned, olive eyes meeting your (e/c) orbs. A hint of a smile pulled at his lips, and you grinned proudly. You were one of the only people that could elicit any expression besides a stoic stare from Shiratorizawa's ace.

"(F/n)."

You skipped to his side, poking his shoulder.

"How you doing?" you asked cheerfully. Wakatoshi answered with a nod and a "Good. You?"

Beaming, you replied in kind.

"Good!"

Your gaze lowered, ignoring the wind that blew through your bedroom window, scattering the tiny shards of chalky remnants across the floor.

You didn't move to pick them up.

You let them fall.

You panicked, seeing the two figures advancing towards you. It was getting dark. No one could possibly come save you, not when it was utterly and completely your fault.

"You don't deserve him," one hissed, stepping closer with a dull thud. The other girl laughed, a high, cruel sound.

"You're just a pitiful child in the end, aren't you?"

You shivered and backed into a wall.

Dead end.

"Stop where you are," a deep voice commanded suddenly, after you had given up all hope. Blinking, you took advantage of your would-be assailants' confusion and crept out of your corner.

"U-Ushijima-sama?" the first girl gasped, losing her hard edge immediately.

A menacing presence towered over them.

"Leave."

They did, scrambling away like he had the plague.

"Wakatoshi?" you asked, barely able to believe your eyes. "How?"

He strode over to you.

"I'll walk you home. Come on."

His arm pulled you tightly to his side, and you felt safe. Safer than you had ever been.

"Bullshit," you mumbled to yourself, drawing your knees up to your chest and folding your hands over your legs. "He lied to me."

He stood in front of your door, expression empty. It scared you.

"Wakatoshi? What's wrong?"

His stare trailed your movements as you reached your fingers up to grip his shoulders firmly.

"Tell me."

Your words were final, and so were his.

"I'm breaking up with you."

Tears sprang to your eyes. Your hands fell down, down, down.

"Why?" you managed to choke out, eyebrows knit together.

"You're getting in my way. You're a burden to my volleyball. You aren't worth my time.."

He turned away abruptly and trudged back down the sidewalk.

You couldn't hear the words that he muttered to himself, nor could you see the silent drops that plunged to the ground.

"It was me. It was always me."

You didn't know the anguish he had gone through to make that decision.

He knew the anguish you would go through because of it.

The two of you would burn together, tied to opposite sides of the same stake.

But you were blind, and didn't see behind you.

If you did, would you still have a full sheet of paper?

You would never know.

And now you were dull.

You were numb.  

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A/N: written as part of an art trade~