Belief

7.8

"Corny."

"Nerd."

We stare at each other, but I break first bursting into laughter. "I love you," I manage to speak through my laughter. Ashton smiles wide, his eyes scrunching up, his hands finding me and pulling me up to lay down next to him.

"I will never get tired of hearing you say that," he grins, closing his eyes and pressing his lips against mine. I smile against his kiss. "I love you so damn much."

My fingers run through his hair, his hands settling on my waist as he deepens the kiss, his tongue tracing my bottom lip as I give him entrance. My hands rest on his chest, tracing the outlines of his abs through his shirt. Ashton brushes the skin where my shirt is pulled up.

"I forgot to tell you, I found a costume shop for you guys," I break away from his kiss. "They have all the superheroes."

Ashton just laughs and shakes his head, "you really had to tell me that now?"

"Well I didn't want to forget!" I defend myself with a laugh, sitting on his lap with my legs on either side of him. He rests his head against the pillow, looking up at me with a smile. "What?" I brush a piece of hair from his eyes.

"I just- I love you," he says softly. "A lot." I bend down a reconnect my lips to his. Ashton's hands trail down my sides and give my bum a squeeze. "Sorry," he mumbles, his face heating up.

"You don't need to apologize," I laugh against his lips. "I'm yours Ash."

He looks up at me with wide eyes, breaking our kiss. "I'm just scared of moving to fast for you. I've been waiting for this for a long time, I mean I could easily - " he trails off, "I don't want to make you do something you're not ready for."

"I think I'm ready," I say softly. His breathing hitches.

"Still I want a safe word or something. In case I can't control myself," he blushes but his face is serious.

"How about Ketchup?" I laugh, resting my forehead against his. Ashton giggles, nodding and reaching up to kiss me.

He deepens the kiss, but stays slow. I could feel the amount of love he had been holding back on. His passion is soft and caring, as if I am a prized possession, not heated and physical. For once I feel sex isn't just a physical outlet of desire, it is a bond of trust shared with love; pure love.

The word love has lost some of its meaning, we use it so often that it is hard to tell which degree one means. 'I love him' could be someone talking about their favorite teacher, a celebrity, the guy at subway who makes the best sandwiches, all using the same word but meaning completely different things.

Loving Ashton...its like a girl going her whole life with a key in her pocket, but she doesn't know what it opens. She gets so used to having it there that she doesn't remember she has it half of the time. Then one day a storm hits and she has no where to go, everything is destroyed except one house, but its locked. She remembers the key. The key unlocks the house and she finds everything she needs to live, everything she has ever needed, everything that has been missing. Even though everything else is gone, she still has everything she needs to survive.

Ashton's touch is so gentle, he slips my shirt off, my hands resting against his bare chest. I slip off the rest of my clothes, his eyes widening. He pulls me back closer to him, kissing my jawline, then my neck, finding the spot that makes me smile and leaving  kisses. "You are so beautiful," he smiles against my skin.

My hands rest on the top of his shorts, but I can't bring myself to move them. Ashton looks to see if I'm okay, but I just start laughing. He rolls his eyes and smiles. "Really?"