Matthew Espinosa Imagines

Out of Love pt. 1

I got nothing.

I watched the rain and fiddled with the drawstrings on my sweats for a while, until my phone ringed.

I jumped, and being the little desperate, broken hearted girl I was, I ran for my phone to be in my hands.

I answer without even looking at the name of the caller.

"Hello?" I answer, my damn sore voice cracking.

"...Uh, hi" they greet. My heart sinks and my stomach twists like a python was strangling my organs.

"...H-Hi Matt" I stammer, wanting to cry into my pillow and hang up on him.

But I needed answers.

"Can I come over really quick? I think you deserve some answers..." Matt says, sounding nervous.

I nod, but then realize he can't see me.

"Yes" I say.

After our awkward goodbyes, I ended the call and then just sat on my bed, hugging my legs to my stomach.

I hear my front door open downstairs and then hear Matt's footsteps come up my stairs.

I lived alone, thankfully, as a twenty year old. I had no one but Matt. And I believed that after this little visit that I would have absolutely no one.

Matt opens my door, and I keep my eyes on my furry, white blanket. If my eyes met his I would start sobbing.

"Uh, hey" Matt greets awkwardly.

I stay silent, playing with the fur on my blanket.

Matt hesitantly comes closer to me. Then, even more hesitantly, sat beside me.

My eyes brim with hot tears, but I don't let out any sobs or whimpers.

I can't show too much weakness. I already seem pretty pathetic.

"Jay-" he starts to say, but my eyes shoot him daggers for using my nickname at this point.

Matt bites his tongue, then clears his throat, awkwardly moving around his accident.

"Jayme" he says, looking down at the blanket I was fiddling with. "I think you deserve some answers since we dated for so long."

Hearing the word "dat-ed" made my heart wrench in agony. But I stay silent.

Matt is silent for so long that I glanced at him to check if his lips were sewed shut.

They luckily weren't.

Matt surprisingly speaks after what felt like sixty minutes.

"I met someone" Matt says, and right when he says it I look at him in shock seeing that he was biting back a smile for my sake.

My jaw drops and my heart shatters.

"While we were dating?!" I fume.

"Yes" Matt says swiftly with no hesitation. By now I wanted to knock his teeth out.

"She's beautiful and amazing to be around and I think I love-"

I shoot up from sitting, grab a picture frame holding a picture of Matt and I from New Years, turn around and chuck it at Matt angrily.

Sadly, I miss from poor aim and the frame shatters behind him.

Matt's eyes widen in shock as he stands up, alarmed now.

Matt glares. "What the hell, Jayme?!"

"Do you think I really want to hear how great your life is with another girl?!" I scream, my throat burning from my piercing volume.

"You should be happy for me!" Matt shouts, his face turning into a red shade from rage.

My jaw drops from shock. Seriously?

"MATT, I'M NOT HAPPY THAT YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE!" I scream, sobs escaping my lips as tears slip out of my eyes next.

Matt freezes, seeming stunned by my words.

"J-...Jayme...just because we're breaking up doesn't mean I don't love you..." Matt whimpers.

I sigh and look down at my hands, tears falling from my eyes to my carpet.

Matt suddenly closes the small gap between us and smashes his lips against mine.

Since I felt desperate and needy, unwanted and neglected, I kiss back and give in to the moment.

The kiss turns into a heated make out, us both putting all our anger and frustration into the harsh kiss.

My legs wrap around Matt, strangling his waist as he tugs harshly on my hair and sticks his tongue down my throat.

An extreme wave of pleasure overcomes us as we then fall onto the bed.

Matt tugs at my shirt and almost takes it off until my brain turns back on.

He doesn't love you anymore.

I quickly scramble out of Matt's grasp and back myself into the corner of my room, hugging myself and watching as Matt sighed and stood back up, the moment being over.

"I think you should go now..." I murmur, not wanting him to go but knowing it was what had to happen.

Matt tries to protest but I avoid his eyes and have a staring contest with my toes.

Matt then angrily hisses air out of his gritted teeth, swings open my bedroom door, and then slams it, leaving my household.

I finally break down, my knees buckling as I fell to the ground and hugged my knees, sobs roaring out of my throat and tears pouring out of my eyes.

I wish I was what he wanted...

_______

Here's part one of Out of Love for you guys!

Part two will be out shortly.

lots of love xoxoxoxo

- abby